68. Unmasking the Ruler's Shadow Side
Celebrating 10,000 downloads!! Thank you for tuning in, it means the world!
In this episode, I discuss the concept of the ruler archetype and its shadow sides, drawing from the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. I explores shadow traits such as potential control and manipulation, isolation, a lack of empathy, fear of vulnerability, and struggling to find work-life balance.
I encourage you to recognize and address these shadow traits to achieve personal growth and authenticity in your journey to build your empire. The power of collaboration and emotional intelligence in nurturing meaningful connections will be priceless for your business.
Take the Free Money Archetype Quiz
Download the Money Archetype Blueprint
A Money Mindset Fundamentals lesson, plus a guided money visualisation and a 30 page doc that includes everything you need to know about your archetypes.
Join the Money Matrix Membership
Where Money Mindset, Quantum Manifestation & Entrepreneurship Meet to Unlock Your Inner Millionaire CEO.
Access Abundant Alchemy
This mini-course provides a comprehensive exploration of your money archetypes, the shadow sides and unconscious patterns, as well as the energetics of money and how to transform your relationship with money to receive.
Apply for Private Mentorship
This is designed for the purpose-driven woman ready to go all in on herself and her dreams. The one who is ready to expand her energetic capacity to create, receive & hold more wealth, more abundance, more success.
-
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Money Mindset Hub podcast. I'm your host, Carla Townsend, a Money Mindset and Success Coach for female entrepreneurs who are seeking freedom and to create a business and life that they never want to escape. First of all, I just want to say the biggest thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This week, just yesterday, we clocked over 10, 000 downloads on 67 podcast episodes, which is just mind blowing and Also, I couldn't wait for it to come. I knew I could see that I was a couple hundred downloads off last week. And I knew that consistently it's been a couple hundred downloads every week, which is just remarkable.
And so incredible to think that this podcast was literally just a thought that I had in my mind. And I knew that I had to, I knew that I had to use this method of communication with you to be able to share my message with the world. Podcasting. I love, I love speaking. This is the easiest way for me to get my message out in the world and connect with you.
And I'm just so, so grateful. So thank you so much. I know that there are so many of you who are OG listeners. Who've been listening since the very first episode, two years ago, two years in the podcast world, which is just, it's incredible. It's mind blowing. And. I'm just truly, truly grateful. I'm so, so grateful.
The cool part about Buzzsprout, which is my podcast host, it gives you updates every time, you know, you clock over a milestone or they always send you an email to say, congratulations, you've reached a milestone. And as soon as I got that 10, 000 download one, I just thought, Oh my God, I have to share this.
This is so amazing. And if I do it, if I can do it, you can do it too. Right? If you're in the podcast podcast recently and you know, you feel like you're slogging away at it. It pays off. And honestly, I think you've just really gotta stick with the method of communication that you like the most. And for me, I have been a big podcast junkie for many, many years now, long before I even had the thought of starting my own business, and I'm so glad I did.
So if you've got that much to start, or you're feeling like you're a little bit lost right now, and you felt like you, the momentum has dropped on your own podcast, just keep going. It is such a beautiful method. To reach your listeners. And I mean, you can also see where the listeners are and you are all around the world, all around the world, like in countries that I've never been to.
And it's just, it's wild. But it's just so amazing, you know, because every episode that you drop, you're always planting the seeds, right? You're planting the seeds. And this is the way that people can know, like, and trust you. They get to know you, you know, I have had almost every single one of my clients that have found me.
They have either found me through Instagram at Money Mindset Hub or they've literally searched Money Mindset in their podcast app and then boom, they've found me, they've binged, they've booked a call, they've joined my membership, they've just signed straight up for private coaching. And so many of them are still with me today.
But anyway, enough of that again, I appreciate you though. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're listening to this and let's dive into the ruler archetype and the shadow sides of the ruler. So first off, quick recap, if you are a ruler, and this is the first episode you've been listening to. The concept of a person's shadow was actually made popular by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung who believed that the human psyche contains both conscious and unconscious elements.
So, the shadow actually represents the parts of you that you deny, repress or reject.
Due to societal conditioning, personal beliefs, trauma, cultural norms, fears, doubts, desires, and even qualities that you consider are unacceptable or undesirable to have. So they're parts of yourself that you may not even be aware of that you've actually repressed. So many women that I speak to. They truly just want to become their fullest expression.
Now, I know the word authenticity gets thrown around a lot, but if you want to be the authority in your space, you want to make a name for yourself. You want to create a legacy and the ruler, you are the empire builder, right? So if this is something that you desire, it is essential to understand when your shadow sides are playing out.
What are those parts of you playing out that You're not fully owning, or you've put them in the basket of being undesirable when really they're just you. And the more that you embrace who you are, and the more that you allow yourself to shine flaws at all, the more magnetic you actually become.
There are so many times where I could have thought, you know what? I won't talk about this or I won't share that or, I could doubt myself in so many ways and I have over the time, but at the same time, I know that my people will always find me and your people will always find you and the ones that resonate with you.
They resonate with your energy, the way you speak, the way you explain things. They can feel your heart and your love just to serve. They will always come to you. So just embrace that. An example of when this can happen, when we do put things in our shadows, and it's not just the things that we class as negative, but it can also be things that are actually quite positive about us.
And they're fantastic elements of our personality, but somewhere along the line, we've witnessed someone express that part of themselves and they've got consequence or backlash or, people talking behind their backs or whatever it might be. So the ruler archetype, you are someone who values power and also control.
But the reason why it's so important to recognize and address your shadow sides is to have a relation, a healthy relationship with yourself and also your personal growth. Like I said, being truly authentic to you. And just overcoming that to fully express who you are. And that's the way you become magnetic because you're not hiding anything.
It doesn't feel energetically like there's a part of you you're not expressing, or you show up in one way and then actual factor or not. You know, when you feel like depending on who the people you are around, you suppress parts of yourself or you dumb down the way that you would say things or you just sort of water yourself, water yourself down might be a better way to say it than dumb down.
But you get what I mean? All right. So rulers. Ruler is my second archetype. My second top archetype. Remembering the top three are your most influential in how you act, feel, think, behave with money and how you create and receive as well. So I get the ruler, I get the empire builder. It is very influential for me.
And so I resonate with this. I've resonated with all of this and I know that you're going to get a lot out of this and maybe see where you are doing these kinds of things or it's playing out and you're sick of it. Truly, if you're sick of it. Let's own it and just look into it. And why is it like that?
And I think the beautiful part about this kind of work in the shadow work is to not make yourself wrong for being the way you are, not make yourself wrong for any of it. You know, if you feel like you're too shy and you've made that wrong about you, if you've been too much of a perfectionist and you've made that be wrong about you, if you're too controlling and you've made that be wrong about you, is it really wrong?
Because it's only your true perception. And sometimes the things that people say come out in a negative way. Like for instance, you're so stubborn stubbornness. Could be your biggest superpower. So being stubborn, sometimes people can say it in a way where it comes across as, that's a bad trait to have, like, Oh, I'm really stubborn. But stubborn is also such an incredible strength. It truly is. So I really hope in this conversation, you're going to see some parts of yourself where you realize that's actually not a bad thing and it's something you've made yourself feel bad about or, or be wrong, but in actual fact, it's your superpower.
So how can you just harness that and embrace who you are? All right. The first one I want to go into is. Potential control and or manipulation. So the ruler archetype, they can want to seek power. And sometimes this can show up in manipulating situations or even people to maintain that sense of power.
So where is this coming out for you? Are you trying to have this powerful presence and dominate? And it's not making you feel that good because you're trying to seek power over just seeking truth? The answers always lie within your truth.
So really ask yourself rulers, where are you controlling or potentially manipulating situations or people in your life and your business to get the outcome that it is that you want to maintain that sense of power. So the way that you can overcome this is to first off recognize when and where this is happening and trust others, allow them to contribute to your expertise and allow them to provide you feedback.
I always look at feedback like it's constructive criticism. So where can you take on that constructive criticism? Not make it mean anything wrong, but allow people to support you. Where are you in total control? Where in actual fact you would feel so much better and have more time for other things that your time is better spent doing these other things. Where can you let that control go?
So focusing on collaboration and open communication rather than seeking control is a much better way to do it. Have a look at that and see where that might be coming out. The second one. is isolation. Okay. Now that might sound like a strange one, but the isolation comes from the desire to get that power.
So the desire for power can sometimes lead to self isolation and distancing yourself from other people like your peers. Or even your family, because you just perceive that they don't get it, but what can actually happen, it can create like this hierarchy, this feel of hierarchy, which creates distance because truly in the real world, there's no such thing as hierarchy in the quantum field. Every single one of us are all equal. Every single one of us are all connected. So where can you just embrace having genuine connections with others?
That can actually lead to beautiful relationships. This also really applies if you have a team. So where are you distancing yourself from other people or having this hierarchy play out when in actual fact, that's not really supportive of building a team, where can you focus on genuine connections, getting support and building your team?
One of the best pieces of advice when I started in a leadership position 10 years ago. Was from my manager at the time, and he said to me, the most successful leaders are the ones where their team is fully self sufficient and everything can run and prosper without you. That's what he said to me, and that is one piece of advice that I have never ever forgotten about.
If you are a leader, if you are growing a team, if you desire to build a big empire, then that does require support from other people. So where can you allow that support rather than distance?
And where can you encourage that initiative from your team? Instead, managing a team can be quite difficult. I know I used to manage teams of up to 25 people at a time and it can be quite challenging, but Where can you allow them to do their best work? How can you promote their growth so that in actual fact, it's also supporting you and your business and the empire that you're creating.
So another one that can come up, this is the third one here is a bit of a lack of empathy sometimes. So with this need to lead and take charge, sometimes there can be this. Lack of empathy or understanding for other people where they're coming from, what they're doing. Years ago when this is a real big learning curve for me was after I got to just set that right.
And I really took that away and I sat with that and thought, how can I be more compassionate? How can I be more empathetic? But also still be that person. That is the authority. We are the leaders. But where can you embrace sharing that vulnerability to build genuine connections with people? Because at the end of the day, if you can put yourself in, in other people's shoes, like your clients, for instance, your team, or even the relationships in your life.
That builds such a better communication, active listening and being able to be empathetic and put yourself in someone else's shoes is a superpower. It truly is because then people feel seen and at the end of the day, building an empire, it is nothing without the team to support you. It is nothing without the clients who love and adore you, who keep coming back.
So having that real emotional intelligence to connect on a deeper level, rather than just go for your, your guiding light. Like this is what we're working towards and we're just going to get there. You need to be able to build up that emotional intelligence to understand people better and communicate better.
It can be a challenge. I know it's easier said than done, but just really look into where you're potentially not doing that. Now that vulnerability piece really ties into the fourth one that I see a lot for rulers is the fear of vulnerability. So this is a big shadow side for a ruler is avoiding being vulnerable and showing any form of weakness.
The ruler is the leader. They're the one that's here to grow and guide other people and. Be the big visionary that also makes it happen, but you're also human at the same time, and we're all having a human experience. So where can you refrain what it means to be vulnerable and what it means to show weaknesses to you? At the end of the day, the more vulnerable you are, the more open that you are, the more that you just understand you're having a human experiences. You've got to have tough times. And especially in entrepreneurship, it is just this big game. Entrepreneurship is just a game.
And life is just a game. We don't all have our shit together all the time. As much as it might seem like that and I know that, in this day and age, you're obviously going to see all the highlight reels from everybody on Instagram but I'm also very emotionally intelligent to understand that I know what I'm seeing, and it's okay.
It's okay to not share vulnerability in certain places if you don't desire to. So just because you are a ruler here building an empire, it doesn't mean you have to be vulnerable to all your followers or all your clients in certain ways or your team, but they're going to be safe places for you.
And maybe you have to find that maybe you need to find a network of people who are doing the same thing as you that are building empires, because that's going to really create an open, safe space for you to be able to explore when you're not feeling like you've got your shit together. And when you need that support, it's okay to not know everything.
It's okay to have moments where you just feel lost and confused and you've got lack of clarity, but learning how to ship those and not making that mean anything wrong about you or mean that it's going to affect your success in any way is truly up to you. So have that trust and find those people foster those relationships and you will feel so much more supported and guided because of it and your empire will grow a lot faster when you can do that.
So the last one is struggling to find balance between your work and your life. Now, the thing here when it comes to balance, this is my take that I have, I guess, reflected on over the last couple of weeks truly is when I feel imbalanced.
In life and business, truly I feel like my work and my business is just a part of my life. So let's talk about a balance in terms of like your life overall and all the hats that you're wearing. Sometimes things are going to take precedence. I've got three kids. Many of you probably have kids too.
So you're trying to grow and build businesses whilst raising kids. And when your kids are sick, there is no such thing as balance. When there is something going on in your family, balance is out the window. You know, But at the end of the day, it's being able to find harmony within yourself and being able to understand that
there is an easier way. There is always an easier way. So yes, sometimes it can be really hard, but I think the biggest thing for you is trying to limit. Working to the point of burnout more than finding balance. If you feel like you are overworked, if you feel like you are hustling and grinding, and there's no end date to that, that can lead to burnout, overwhelm, all the things, but you are not burnout and you are not overwhelmed. They are purely feelings and perceptions that you have, but you are not those things to be careful if you find yourself labeling yourself as I'm burnt out, I'm overwhelmed, I'm stressed or whatever label you might be placing on yourself at times when it does feel like a total shit show.
It's okay. We all go through that. Where can you get support? Are there structures that you need to put in place? Is there support that you need to hire? Things that you need to delegate or eliminate so you can actually feel more at peace and more present in every part of your life. Being present is a hard thing for a ruler.
It truly is because your mind is probably predominantly on your business. A lot of the time at every spare moment, you're thinking about it, you're being creative, you're visioning, there's something going on. Right. And it's very hard to just switch that off. But is that a negative thing or is that a superpower because you're so committed to your vision, you're so committed to where you're going. If that's impacting other parts of your life, maybe your health, maybe relationships, maybe your time with your kids, then that's where you've got to go, hold up a sec, I need to dive into this. So it's not necessarily about trying to find balance in every part of your life all the time, because that doesn't exist.
It's just finding what works for you and where you need support.
So one other one that really comes up and it really ties in with all of this, because look, I know we're talking about the shadow sides and obviously these are the parts where it's going to highlight for you things where you might not be super proud of. It might make you feel a certain way. I'm not sharing any of this to make you feel wrong or bad or judge yourself. Anything like that. This is purely an open discussion because I felt all of these. I have felt all of these. And I know that so many rulers or my clients who are rulers definitely feel these just in general, these feelings come up, especially depending on the season of life and business that you're in. But there are times where you really need to just go for it. So if you do feel like at any point you're getting this sense of like burnout is on the brink, where can you just slow it down? Where can you take a step back? Where can you collaborate?
Now, neglecting collaboration is One more that comes up a lot, and that really ties into that need to control. So recognize and leverage the strengths of others in your circle, in your home, life, in your business, in your team, to be able to support you. Where can you collaborate with others in business?
Maybe they're in different types of businesses to you, but together collectively, you can make a bigger impact and support one another to grow your empires. Where can you do that instead? Because collaboration honestly is so much fun, but you've got to trust your intuition when you're doing it too. And it always has to come from a win win place.
And when you've got mutual goals. And you mutually support each other and it's a win win for everybody. That's when everything shines. That's when your message gets delivered to a broader audience. That's when the recognition, the clients, the money, the success, all of it begins to flow. The more that you can start overcoming and addressing the shadow sides and notice when they're coming up, notice when they're consciously or unconsciously playing out, that is going to be so crucial in your success.
And it will dictate how quick you build your empire. It will.
So I really hope that this episode has given you some things to think about and to see where maybe you are actually getting in your own way. And it is just that ruler personality coming out in you, but where you might actually need to tweak her a little to get to where it is you want to go.
Because at the end of the day, the only mountain you've got to climb is you. You are always a mountain that you need to climb. And truly it's that unconscious mind of ours that we need to climb because they're the ones that get in our way more than anybody else, more than anything else, it's ourselves.
It's what we do. But that's why this work is so important. And I've seen it time and time again. I even had a lady today who I did a money archetype reading with several months ago now, and she said to me that ever since having that reading, she's really taken a step back and looked at everything and incorporated the strengths of our archetypes as well as looking at, well, where are the shadows playing out?
Where is that coming out? And how can I foster those relationships and where can I foster collaboration and where can I stop the pattern from repeating itself to actually grow my business to where I want to grow it, to be more connected, to be more creative, to have this love for her business again. And she's found it.
She's found it because the power of the money archetypes has worked so beautifully. So in the personalized readings, we look at the three top archetypes, which are your most influential in how you think, feel, behave, create, receive.
In your business, in your life. So we looked at those and we looked at her goals and where she was and where she wanted to go and how she could use her archetypes as a way to shift how she was doing business. And now it's led to this massive creative spark. It led to so many collaborations. It led to so much impact, income opportunities, synchronicities.
It's just so beautiful. Anyway, I'm going to leave you with that. You're probably already done the quiz because I was probably waiting here. But if you haven't, it's at moneymindsethub. com forward slash please go find out what your archetypes are. If you want to take it further, all the ways to work with me are on my website.
Let's do this, right? We've only got a couple of months of 2023 left. The mountain to climb is you. what you can achieve over the next three months is truly up to you and magic does happen. Three months is still a long time. I know that we can get to the end of the year and we think, Oh my God, we're running out of time and it's almost over and it's nearly 2024.
And what have I done? And we can have a lot of reflections on things that we should have done or we could have done and we didn't do. I want you to focus on the next three months. What are you going to do? What are the shifts you're going to do? What's the powerful ways in which you're gonna show up and create and serve and foster relationships and grow and build that empire of yours?
Because if you desire it, it's meant for you. And I truly believe that. And I also know that you're a ruler. You're never gonna give up you're not, because you know you're here to build an empire and you will never quit. Because if you quit, you are the one that's failing yourself and you're never gonna do that.
Alright, I'll catch you in the next episode.