67. Unmasking the Romantic's Shadow Side
In this episode, we explore the mindset aspects of gratitude and finding the silver lining in life. Carla delves into the romantic archetype and its shadow sides that can hinder your success and happiness. She discusses the constant need to prove oneself and the fear of imperfection that often accompany this archetype.
Taking responsibility for our lives is another key aspects that Carla highlights. She encourages you to set boundaries and prioritize your own inner growth. By doing so, you can create a more fulfilling and abundant life.
For those interested in diving deeper into these topics, Carla offers a mini course called "Abundant Alchemy." This course provides a comprehensive exploration of your money archetypes, the shadow sides and unconscious patterns that play out, as well as understanding the energetics of money and how to transform your relationship with money to receive.
You can learn more about the mini-course here: https://www.moneymindsethub.com/abundant
Overall, this podcast episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to shift their mindset, cultivate gratitude, and find the silver lining in life. Carla's insights and guidance offer practical tools for personal growth and success.
How to Work with Carla:
Take the Free Money Archetype Quiz
Join the Money Matrix Membership
Where Money Mindset, Quantum Manifestation & Entrepreneurship Meet to Unlock Your Inner Millionaire CEO.
Access Abundant Alchemy
This mini-course provides a comprehensive exploration of your money archetypes, the shadow sides and unconscious patterns, as well as the energetics of money and how to transform your relationship with money to receive.
Apply for Private Mentorship
This is designed for the purpose-driven woman ready to go all in on herself and her dreams. The one who is ready to expand her energetic capacity to create, receive & hold more wealth, more abundance, more success.
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Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - Welcome back to the Money Mindset Hub podcast. I'm your host, Karla Townsend, and I'm a money mindset and success coach for female entrepreneurs who are ready to manifest a masterpiece in their life and in their business. So let's get started. Welcome back to another episode of the Money Mindset Hub podcast. So I'm your host, Carla Townsend, and I'm a money mindset and success coach for female entrepreneurs who are ready to manifest a business and life that they never want to escape. Before we dive in, I was having a chat to my gold and platinum matrix members in Voxer. We have Voxer for a whole week every month where we get to dive into everything that's happening and going on for us in our business and explore a workshop, move through the the doubts, shift the beliefs and take radical action. So this membership is all about becoming the woman who can hold it all. Who can do they have it all? The success, the wealth, the recognition, the fame, the money, everything that you desire.
Speaker 1 (00:00:58) - It's all about becoming that. And obviously we blend in the energetics of money, quantum manifestation as well as entrepreneurship, because those three are really the trifecta in my entire business. They are my framework for my entire business is based off those three things. And my success is because I have worked so deeply on those three things. So the matrix is where you will find everything. So if you're ready to start and grow a business that's actually very abundant and profitable, the Matrix membership is your place, so come and join us. So what we were talking about this morning was getting into that seven figure self, right? So for those of you who know, my goal is to be a seven figure entrepreneur. That's my goal. That is where we're headed right now. My current big goal is to hit 30 K a month. That's the goal that I'm going for. That's my monthly target now. For the longest time it was ten K a month, but I think it's just because they're thrown around so much.
Speaker 1 (00:01:54) - You know, the infamous ten months is thrown around. But is it really ten K that you desire? What is it that you desire? What's going to make the most difference to you? So ask yourself that question, add everything up. What is your actual cost of living? What is your desired cost of living? What are the things you want to invest in or do or be or have any of it? And what does that look like? Because often it's not ten K sometimes it's nowhere near ten. K sometimes it's less and sometimes it's way more. What is that for? You add all those things up and get your own number because this is where I see a lot of people blocking themselves is they're going for the infamous ten K because it's thrown around so much. But you don't have to do that. You can absolutely quantum leap. I see it all the time. I see it with my clients all the time. Blow their own minds as to what they can actually do being have and the wealth that they can create and hold for themselves.
Speaker 1 (00:02:50) - And they quantum leap very quickly. They go from a couple thousand dollars if that. And then it can turn very fast. But you have to work on the person. You have to work on the human. You have to work on yourself in order to open up your receivership to be able to bring all that in. There's so much self work and inner work that needs to go on in order to be able to tap into that kind of level of frequency of wealth. Money is just a currency. The currency needs to flow. So what currency are you acclimatized to? What radio signal are you on? Are you tuned in to the 10-K, but you don't really know why it's 10-K and you don't even know if 10-K is what you desire. If 10-K is going to give you what you want, or are you just like. Well, that's what everyone seems to go for. That's what everyone seems to put on the Internet. So I must have to go for ten K Is that what you're dialed in to Go and do your own numbers, get your own figure, because then it actually has an attachment.
Speaker 1 (00:03:44) - It needs to have an emotional attachment to that figure, to that desire. It's not the money. It's why you want the money. It's not money for the sake of money. It's what that kind of money will bring to you, what it will provide for you. So find your number and everything up, your dreams, your ambitions, your current cost of living, your desire, cost of living to get rid of all your debt, whatever it might be. What are your goals and what is it wasn't going to cost you to get there. Then that's your figure. That's your goal. Acclimatise to that tune into that radio station and you will get there so much faster and so much easier than what you think. And one last thing before we dive in. Today's episode was also talking to the ladies today around as well. Where are you allowing your mood to dictate the decisions that you make in your business? Where are you allowing your mood to dictate your discipline that you have in your business? Where are you allowing your mood to run the show and not actually showing up as an entrepreneur that you know you are? As the Southland purpose driven female entrepreneur that you know you are.
Speaker 1 (00:04:45) - Where are you allowing your mood to be your biggest obstacle? We've all done it right. We've all done it. I've got three young kids so often I will get broken slate. I mean, my kids normally sleep right, but we've just got back from spending most of last month overseas and so my kids are kind of like still trying to get back into our normal time zone and our normal, I guess, rhythm week to week with school and kinder and all that sort of stuff. So their sleep has been a little bit disrupted. And so I haven't had a proper night's sleep in like a week now since being back last night. I didn't get a full night's sleep yet again. However, I decided I would get up at 5 a.m. I had a couple of things. My most important task that needed to tick off before the kids woke up, I got up and I just got ready and I did it. I did it. I got two out of three things. This is the third thing right now.
Speaker 1 (00:05:31) - But I got two out of three done before they woke up. And I was like, Right. I could have easily just hit snooze. I could have easily just procrastinated and not actually moved the needle and got anything done and just been like, Oh, but I'm tired because I haven't slept right for a week. And before that I was on holidays and like, you know what I mean? Where are you allowing your mood to affect the progress that you're making in your business? Because that is one of the biggest barriers that I also see and felt like you need to also be a part of this conversation. So if that resonated, let me know. Always send me a DM. My dams are always open on Instagram and would love to hear from you. I love a chat. Send me a voice note. They're my favorite if you can't tell. But anyway, let's dive into today's episode. So this one is all about the shadow sides of the romantic archetype. Now I have worked with many romantics, so I understand you quite deeply and I can really pick a romantic.
Speaker 1 (00:06:25) - Like as you get to understand all of these archetypes, you're going to determine who in your life actually is these archetypes and you will see them play out. You will see the way that they behave, the way they make decisions, and definitely the way that they view and treat money is a sure sign as to which archetype they are. So these are not only just beneficial for you, but also really beneficial for you to be a bit more empathetic to those in your life that you don't agree with because you probably have completely different archetypes. So you probably treat money completely differently than what you would like. Me and the Romantic could be further apart. The accumulator, ruler and Maverick are my top three code. Make total sense, but do I judge the romantic? No. Did I used to? Yes. Now I understand it. I have compassion. I have empathy. I understand why they make decisions the way they do. So no longer judge. And you will also find that true within yourself and within the relationships in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:07:16) - So quick recap, because I do this at the start of every episode just in case. This is the first one you're listening to in this Unmasking the Shadow Side series. So the concept of a person's shadow was made popular by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. So he believed that the human psyche contains both conscious and unconscious elements. So the shadow represents the part of you that you deny, repress or reject, consciously or unconsciously, due to societal conditioning, personal beliefs, cultural norms, fears, desires, traumas, doubts, emotions, and just qualities that you believe that are unacceptable, undesirable or unlovable. So somewhere along the line you believe that you wouldn't be loved or accepted, or you'd be treated differently, or you'd suffer a consequence, and therefore you repress that part of yourself. So, for example, a shadow that can come up is when you have this constant desire to prove to others that you are worthy, this constant desire to prove to others that you have what it takes to prove to them that you'll be successful, to prove to them that it will work.
Speaker 1 (00:08:17) - When you have this constant desire to always prove proof, prove there is something attached to that, and that needs to be cleared because that could potentially be the biggest thing that's actually holding you back from obtaining what it is that you desire. At the end of the day, you want to prove to yourself what is possible. But when we have this egoic need, because it's attached to proving to somebody else, like, See, I told you so. I told you I could do it. I told you this would be successful. When we have that, consciously or unconsciously, we are actually blocking ourselves. So that's a really big red flag that you actually need to heal. There's a bit of work to be done underneath. All right, so the romantic archetype values, beauty and idealized love, the luxury, the elegance, all of this like they just love a good time. They love a good time, but they love the finer things in life. Now, one of the biggest shadow stars that I say come up with the romantic is actually total avoidance.
Speaker 1 (00:09:21) - Try to escape what is actually going on in reality. Now, there's this dance here between realistic thinking about the world in terms of to the point where it will limit you. And then there's thinking in the realistic world, the point where you are actually trying to avoid things that you need to face. I am the big dreamer and I'm the big one for visualizing your ideal life and thinking outside of the box and not being limited for the romantic. What are you avoiding? It's okay to be in the fantasies, an idealized what's happening in Visualize your most abundant reality, but don't avoid the challenges. What challenges are showing up for you in your life? Because this is where we need to be really mindful and be really present into realities. Tackling the problems because they're always going to be problems. Everyone has problems. Your problems are just going to change the more successful you become. But there will always be problems. It's about not avoiding them, but actually tackling them. And I'm sure maybe you have one right now, a challenge or something that you need to action, maybe a boundary you need to set a conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:10:21) - You need to have a structure you need to put in place. So seek the solutions. Don't avoid them. Don't think that they just don't exist. Okay? It will make you stronger and it will make it so much easier to get through and to bring whatever it is that that challenge is blocking you from. The next one is. Dependence on the external beauty. So what this means for a romantic is often the aesthetics of the way things look, The way things appear are the most important rather than the actual internal feeling. Now, if we think about this in terms of your life, the reason that you remember certain things and they have such fond, beautiful memories are because they invoked an emotion in you, an emotion that you believe is positive and emotion that you enjoy experiencing. It's always comes back to the emotion that's tied to an event. Your perception is what determines that emotion. Your emotion is what determines what stands out to you. So when you have this overdependence on like external beauty and like aesthetics and like everything looks great, but actually there's a lot of work that needs to be done under the surface.
Speaker 1 (00:11:38) - Everything looking great doesn't mean like it comes back into that old saying, like, not everything is as it seems. So where is it that not everything is as it seems in your life? Where are you trying to, like, aesthetically make it all look fine? Maybe in your relationships, Maybe with yourself. You're trying to appear like everything's good. Everything's good. I'm still put together. I'm still like, I don't know, got my hair done. I'm dressed well, all right. Where are you doing this? Rather than tackling the internal potential turmoil or challenges or relationships or the adversity that you need to face, where are you doing that? Try and prioritize that inner growth. And develop that self-awareness as to when you might be doing this, when you might be trying to just put on a facade. Things are okay, everything's okay. Aesthetically, everything looks great, but actually internally things are real flaky. This does happen. And of course sometimes this can happen for most of the different archetypes as well, but specifically see it happen for romantics.
Speaker 1 (00:12:38) - So be kind to yourself. Focus on your internal compassion, self-compassion, self-belief and do what you need to do. Do the uncomfortable things. Do the uncomfortable things. Look beyond the physical aesthetics. Look beyond the physical appearance, because you're so much more than that. All right. The third one is. The fear of being imperfect. So one of the shadow sides for the romantic is. Having to be around imperfections and failures. I love to look at failures like there is no such thing as a failure unless you quit. You will never be a failure unless you give up. Because if you never give up, you never stop trying. So there's always opportunities for you to be successful, to create the wealth, to create the freedom, to create the impact, to get the recognition, to get whatever it is that is driving you. You will always get there provided that you don't give up. Embrace your imperfections, Embrace what you don't think is perfect because nothing is perfect and perfect is perception. And we can't mold anybody else's perception.
Speaker 1 (00:13:51) - We can only mold yours. So where are you looking at yourself? Your life, what you're doing, what you're creating as imperfect. And how can you give it more love? How can you recognize that imperfect action is what gives you the results? We don't want to wait for all our ducks to be in a row before we move. We don't want to wait for all the stars to line up before we move. We don't want to wait for a tizzy to occur or have X amount of money before you do this or X amount of followers, X amount of clients. Where can you move regardless? Where can you embrace the journey that is and know that it's all coming together for you? It's all coming together. It's all working out for you. The universe is always conspiring for you. What you desire will come to fruition, but you need to tell yourself that. Otherwise you could potentially be blocking yourself from so many opportunities that are coming your way and from getting to that place, that desire, that goal quicker than what you think it's going to take.
Speaker 1 (00:14:49) - So number four. He's escaping responsibility. More romantic trying to have like the ideal loss. It sometimes can lead to avoiding responsibility, obviously avoiding challenges like we discussed, and then that can lead to a lot of setbacks. What is ideal for you? What is an ideal life for you? What does that look like? What does that feel like more importantly? And where do you need to take responsibility and where is it the responsibility of others as well, having those boundaries? Because sometimes one of the shadow sides is taking responsibility for everything that is not actually yours to take responsibility of. Sometimes there are certain things that are out of your control. So where are you trying to take responsibility or try and take charge where it's not actually your place? So prioritize what actually needs attention, What are the needle moving tasks? What are the most important tasks? So this is something that I've also been practicing. Getting back in the habit of is what are my three most important things every single day that that will move the needle forward and get them done before anything else.
Speaker 1 (00:16:01) - No doing the fluffy tasks that don't actually move the needle and they're just fun to do because actually it's it is procrastination just playing out, right? That's one of my shadow swords that come up. I know that I can procrastinate a bit, so when I procrastinate, I'm like, why am I procrastinating? There's a reason. So this is about practicing that discipline. Just do the things that actually move the needle, do the things that are actually important to you, and that's going to get you where to where you want to go. And that's going to be taking responsibility. You can always get to your ideal vision. Absolutely. But there's that journey that you've got to go on in order to get there. So where are you not taking responsibility when you actually need to step up? Where in your life can you do that? Where in your life are you avoiding? And the last one I really want to talk about is the dependency on others for your own happiness. So I truly believe that your happiness is something that you cultivate and you actively cultivate it day by day.
Speaker 1 (00:17:01) - Happiness is a choice because it all comes down to your perception of what's going on. It all comes down to. Are you a cup half full or a cup half empty kind of a person when shit hits the fan? Who are you? What happens? How do you manage that? Now, obviously there's varying degrees of that depending on what's going on, but what happens for you? What are you doing in those moments? Your happiness is something that only you can find. That pursuit of happiness lies within its beholder. Every single time. If you can tap more into gratitude, you can bring more joy to your life, even in the mundane, even in the day to day. Some days I just feel like my life can be pretty boring. Here I am. I'm a mom of three. I run a business and the weeks just seem to tick over faster. But bring joy to it though. Now this just it just becomes this habit becomes this habit to always tap into gratitude. So I love trying to romanticize my days, my life, the small things, the little things.
Speaker 1 (00:18:09) - And I'm not perfect. No one is. But always trying to romanticize that. Like when I drink my coffee in the morning, I enjoy the taste of it, even if I'm watching the sunrise or just the feel of the sun on my skin, the smiles from my kids, the cuddles, the the sheets that I go to sleep in. I love to feel like I'm constantly tapping into gratitude. It's just my natural default setting now. Then. It used to be, but it's your choice. So I choose to always look for the good. I choose to always look for the silver lining. I think we've all been through enough shit in life to know that things always seem to work out in the end. And sometimes you need to go through challenges and sometimes you need to be uncomfortable and sometimes you need to take responsibility for certain things that eventually it will. You will say the silver lining, and I know that you will. I know that you as a romantic will, you already have this vision of this idealistic life that you want to lead.
Speaker 1 (00:19:06) - So where are you stopping yourself? And now you can overcome these shadows. And if you love this episode, if you want to take this any further, I did create a mini course for you, which is all about illuminating the shadow sides of your archetypes to transform your relationship with money. We talk about the energetics of money. We talk about shadows. This is a mini course that I created called Abundant Alchemy. You can learn all about it if you go to money mindset hub.com/abundant it is $97 which is an absolute bargain but yeah I love it. I think that you are going to get so much out of it. You're going to know yourself better than what you ever have, especially when you understand your archetypes and your innate strengths and challenges and shadows and how to overcome them in your life and in your business. I had to create it because I knew it was just the perfect next step for you because. It's remarkable. Anyway. Hope to see you in there, and I'll catch you in the next episode.
Speaker 1 (00:20:01) - Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did, I would absolutely love it. If you could please leave me a five star review and let me know your thoughts and if you know anyone who would benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them. Until next time, remember, everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance. So take that next step.