65. Unmasking the Celebrity's Shadow Side
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In this podcast episode, we will be discussing the shadow side of the celebrity archetype. Shadows are those repressed or undesirable parts of ourselves that have caused shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. It's crucial for us to understand and explore our shadows in order to live authentically.
Throughout this episode, I will be highlighting the negative aspects of the celebrity archetype, such as seeking validation from external sources and constantly comparing ourselves to others.
My main message is to encourage you to stay true to yourselves, cultivate self-esteem from within, and prioritize genuine relationships.
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Carla (00:00:00) - Welcome back to the Money Mindset Hub podcast. I'm your host, Karla Townsend, and I'm a money mindset and success coach for female entrepreneurs who are ready to manifest a masterpiece in their life and in their business. So let's get started.
Carla (00:00:16) - Welcome back to another episode of the Money Mindset Hub podcast. Hope you are loving this series. So this is the third one in the series of eight. We're going to unmask the shadow sides of the celebrity. So far, we have unmasked the shadow side, the accumulator and the alchemist. So if you haven't listened to those episodes yet, please go and do so. Number 63 and number 64. But this is episode 65, which is all on the celebrity. So I really hope you liking them. I know they're going to uncover so much for you and I'll just help you dive a lot deeper. Think the terms shadow work and shadows get cast around a lot and know a lot of people actually understand. Like, I'll be honest, even when I actually started to really dive deep into what is a shadow? What does it mean? What does it mean for me? I realized it was actually so many different parts of myself and my shadows that I'd already uncovered without even necessarily going deep into typical shadow work.
Carla (00:01:15) - You know what I'm saying? So they're really just parts of yourself that you've repressed or you've deemed them as undesirable. They're just not something that you want to have. There are things that you've learned along the way that they're not a personality trait that you want. Maybe you've seen people be shamed for them. Maybe you've been shame for them. Maybe it's made you feel guilt or fear or judgment parts that we haven't been made to feel good about. We haven't felt good about those parts of ourselves, or we've seen other people not feel good about showing those parts of themselves. So before we dive into it, I just wanted to give you a bit of a recap of what's been happening. Where are we at? So my family and I are actually over in Bali, in Indonesia. We're currently staying in Chengdu. This is a three week holiday, like 20 days all up and it's been wonderful. Not Gonna Lie has been pretty hectic, but this has been such a long time coming. Just being on an overseas trip in general has been something that I've been so excited about doing and getting back out here and living the life.
Carla (00:02:15) - This is freedom to us and freedom to travel and show our kids the world and just get out of the Australian bubble. It's been really interesting to seeing them take it all in. I've really found a lot of gratitude in being here and realizing that I actually love my life. I love my life, I love my home. I love the freedom, I love the flexibility, I love the structure. I love the things that you just get used to, right? Like your creature comforts at home. I know now that my ideas of, Oh, maybe we could just, like, sell it all and then come and move to Bali, We'd be incredibly abundant and free, however. Now think that's not really for me. I like the structure, I like the support and not has been a mission and a half, but the kids have done really well. They've traveled really well. They are pretty easy. Kids definitely had our testing moments and the behaviors and the attitudes and things, but what else do you expect that's just normal even when you're at home.
Carla (00:03:06) - So let alone when you're in a totally different country and they're out of their comfort zone, of course it's going to happen. But yeah, it's been so good. It's been such a wonderful trip. And now we we can't wait to find the next destination. So if anyone has any recommendations on where to go with kids, please let me know. I know Mick wants to go to Vietnam and Cambodia. And we actually met a lady here who's part of a charity over in Cambodia but would love your thoughts if you also have children and, you know, any places that you would recommend traveling with the kids, please send me a dammit money mindset. How? But on Instagram your thoughts are welcome because I cannot wait to start planning the next trip. Travel is such a big one for me. Travel is something that I love and I live for and it is always been, I guess, a pillar of freedom for me, traveling with my family, seeing the world. I'm so grateful. I think I've been to 16 countries now.
Carla (00:04:06) - I'm very grateful to have gone to all of them and can't wait to go to the rest. But obviously with kids, it's going to be a little bit different. Just like we've found, you know, this time. This is the first time we've traveled overseas with three kids. Last time we only had two and they were eight months and two years old. Now said kids are four and six. But anyway, with all that being said, it's been a beautiful holiday. We're loving it. And let's dive into the episode. I want to give you an example of because in every one of these episodes, I'm going to give you a different example of like a Shadow and how it might show up. So for instance, there might be a way that. The shadow shows up in something you just feel insecure about, right? So there might be something that you're actually just insecure, all your insecure people seeing you in that lot or displaying yourself. For me, to be honest, one of the things that I was always insecure of was singing, and that sounds so weird, but I have loved music and singing and that's my happy place, honestly.
Carla (00:05:07) - But that is something I've always felt really insecure of, so I would just hide my voice if that made sense. Like I would hide my voice. I would not sing properly in front of anyone, but like my brothers and sisters. And now, you know, making the kids, that's pretty much it. Something that you put to your shadow is just something that you become insecure or for whatever reason, maybe someone said something and all of a sudden it made you feel insecure. And so for me, instead of singing and just enjoying it and not caring what anyone else thought, I would not sing, even though I wanted to, I would hide that part of myself because it made me very insecure and I was very scared of being judged or criticized for singing. Maybe there's something for you that you have felt like you're a bit insecure of, and so you've decided I can't show that. I can only show that part of me in front of certain people. And obviously, when it comes to a show size, it's okay.
Carla (00:05:57) - It's totally up to you what you show. But being able to express yourself fully is what we're here for, and that is where this shadow work comes into play and understanding. Okay, so if you're a celebrity archetype, if this is your predominant archetype, the five different ones that we're going to talk about today, there is your obsession over your image validation from external sources, shallow relationships, comparison artists or feeling insecure, and then your loss of authenticity. So I think those ones for the celebrity are going to be really, really, really eye opening to just explore them. Because at the end of the day, you want to be able to live your life. You don't want to feel like you're hiding or you don't want to feel like you have to change who you are. You just want to show up. Show up as you are, speak the way you want to speak, express yourself the way you want to express yourself. So the first one that comes up is that obsession with your image.
Carla (00:06:52) - So this is something that can come up a lot for a celebrity because a lot of the time you can heavily focus on your appearance. So there's the shadow side for the celebrity, which is your obsession with your image and focusing so heavily on your appearance and sort of cultivating this specific appearance in order to sort of fit in rather than actually be the way that you would like to dress or act or show up or any of that. So where I see this a lot is you all say it all the time, obviously on social media, but there'll be lots of people that feel like they have to wear designer brands. And like once you wear designer brands, that's when you actually look like you've made it and it looks like you've got credibility. But there are so many people that are so, so, so successful and so happy that don't need to do that. Now, there's nothing wrong with luxury. There's nothing wrong with any of that. But if you feel like you are having to buy those kinds of brands or wear that kind of designer style just to fit in, just to be appreciated because it looks like you are maybe richer than what you are or it looks like you're more successful than what you are, then that's not reflecting your true self.
Carla (00:08:05) - And that shows there's a shadow there that you believe that you have to dress or look a certain way in order to fit in or to be able to in order to be taken seriously. So I would look at that. And why do you feel like that? Next one is getting that validation from external sources. So the big attention here on your self-worth and to remember that you need to go beyond that surface level kind of relationship. So go beyond the surface level. We've all been there, right? We've all had. Relationships, friendships, whatever it might be that were really just surface level. But then when she hit the fan or you really needed someone, they weren't there. And that's when you realized, okay. They're not my true person. They don't really have my genuine interest at heart. And this is something that the celebrity archetype can fall into, especially when there is that obsession over how do I look and getting validation from others, like, do I fit in? Do I do it this way or do I look this way, or do I get my head on this way, or do I create this way? Do I speak this way when you're trying to mold yourself into the perfect thing or what you believe that will be accepted or what you believe will be respected? This is when you're getting validation sometimes from the wrong kind of people, the people who maybe also are having their struggles with their image, obsession and wanting to fit in and trying to mold.
Carla (00:09:28) - Like you don't want to be a chameleon. Like at the end of the day, you don't want to be a chameleon that's trying to change who she is and how she is and why she shows up the way she dresses and not actually being you because that takes so much energy. It takes so much energy to be anyone other than you. And it's totally fine to want to improve yourself and enhance parts of you and to become the best person that you can be, become the person that you dreamed of becoming. That's totally different where the luxury brands wear the designer brands. But if you feel like an imposter doing that or you feel like you have to do that in order to be accepted or loved, then that's when you need to actually look at that and go deeper. So where are you looking for validation over cultivating your own self esteem within and acknowledging who you are and what you intrinsically value over external recognition, over external influences and allowing that to genuinely fulfill you rather than seeking approval from other people. So this one ties in super perfectly with the shallow relationships like touched on just before.
Carla (00:10:33) - There's this desire for attention sometimes for the celebrity that can result then in building their relationships that are honestly just surface level connections. They're not that deep, genuine connection. The person's actually going to be there for you, the one that wants to see succeed. It's more kind of like, Hey, we're all in this group. We all kind of do this, this is what we do. But like if you do show us your true personality, maybe we're not a match, so you'll kind of be an outcast. Let's just think about, like, high school terms that the high school kind of relationships where if you don't fit in, you're an outcast or if you're different, you know you want to be able to fit in. But you understand as you get older that there are genuine relationships and then there are relationships that are really just not long term. There's no substance there, there's no depth there and there never will be. So be aware of that and prioritize the quality of your relationships rather than the quantity.
Carla (00:11:25) - I've noticed as I've gotten older and had children and it is that I have like my handful of very solid, beautiful, deep connection friends that will be friends for the rest of my life. These are the ones that it doesn't matter what I do, what I say, if we disagree, anything like that. They've got my back and I've got theirs and they are so supportive and I just can feel their heart. I can feel their connection. And we both know that we are there for the long run, regardless of whatever happens in our life. These deep connections that no matter what happened in my life, no matter whether I was married or not, or whatever, whatever way my life went, these are my solid friends who'll be there regardless. Look for those. Look for the quality in your friendships, not the quantity. Because I promise you that the quantity will reduce and you will see the relationships that are worth investing time and energy and effort into. As you step into more of who you are, you will naturally gravitate and attract those people that are more like you and who love you and appreciate you and respect you for being yourself.
Carla (00:12:32) - That is what we're looking for here. So I'm kind of getting a bit fast. But, you know, they're interrelated here, so I don't want to, like, dwell and go in circles. I know whatever's going to need to come up for you, we'll come up for you. And then obviously I do have a mini course of shopping on September 1st, which is called Abundant Alchemy, which you can join, and we can go so much deeper into these shadow sides of your archetypes and uncovering them and exploring them. So be sure to get on the list links into and the links in the show notes if you want to check that out and join us live. So the fourth one here is this like comparison. Now the comparison comes from insecurity. And when you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, maybe it is like other celebrities, for instance. Maybe it's other really well known people, really successful people. What are they doing and how can I be more like them? Or how can I outshine others in order to feel accomplished and not feel like I'm inadequate, not feel like I'm insecure? How can I feel more like these people? I desire to be like for a celebrity? If you ever feel that the need to outshine others and you know, Australian culture, we call it to one up.
Carla (00:13:42) - So if you feel like you want to one up someone like, Oh, they did this, hey, but did this or have you gone on a trip here? Oh, yeah, but what a trip last year. You know what I mean? If you do that, remember, it's not a bad thing. If you recognize it, it's not a bad thing. Cause you might know. Some people might be like, Oh, my God, they're always going to one up me or something. But this is where your shadow plays out. So now you'll start to catch yourself. You'll start to notice that if you are doing this, that you need to pick it up and flip it, pick it up and go, Oh, how come? In this situation I have felt the need to one up. I have felt the need to outshine rather than allow someone else to have their moment. When does that come up for you? Who does that come up around? Why? Unlocking that is going to be a sure way that you're going to overcome this this need to one up, this needs to outshine because that is a shadow.
Carla (00:14:41) - That is a shadow that that is ready to be explored. And it does need to be explored because to be honest, you piss people off when you do that. Like it's one of those things that it probably annoys you and others do it, but then naturally you do it. You know, we've all been there. We've all done it occasionally. So have a look. Remember, we want to embrace the mindset of collaboration over competition. Not to be wrong. There's nothing wrong with healthy competition, but there is so much room for success out there. We can all be so successful. So I want you to look at that. How can I collaborate? How can we all be successful? How can we all shine together, not try and step on anyone else's toes or not try and outshine others or make yourself look better than anyone else, or mould yourself in a way to be a peer better than anyone else. It's about yourself. You are only in competition with yourself. You are never in competition with anybody else.
Carla (00:15:31) - So this brings me to the last one. And this is losing your own authenticity. I would say often with a celebrity, there's this need for attention because the celebrity archetype will often compromise who they are. By conforming to trends, conforming to other people, behaving in ways that they believe will be accepted, behaving in ways that are aligned with people that they're hanging around with, going back to those shallow relationships and that need for external validation and that obsession with the image. You can often feel like a bit of a chameleon because you're conforming and you're changing depending on the people that you're around, but that doesn't align with you and actually makes you feel like your energy is just sucked out of you when you're in those situations where you're not being yourself. So recognize that. Why am I feeling so exhausted after I have been around these people? Is it the people or is it me? Did I feel like I couldn't be myself? Is that because of them or is it because I don't feel comfortable to express myself fully and be myself? Am I losing my authenticity in this way? Remembering that you're being authentic will attract your people and it will repel.
Carla (00:16:43) - Don't be scared to repel people in entrepreneurship. That's what you're going to do. The more that you become yourself, the more effortless things feel, The easier things feel, the less creative blocks that you have and the more that you attract the right people and the more that you repel the people that don't have you anyway. And then the people that you don't really want to work with anyway because you don't want to work with people that are just going to judge you or criticize you or and that can be wrong. There is constructive criticism. I'm all for that because we're here to build businesses that are incredible, that have an incredible impact. But we're not here to have clients that suck our energy, that aren't the kind of people that are stuck in certain mindsets and remembering you're the one that's attracting those kind of people into your life if you are acting a certain way. So not even just in business, but in your life in general, the more that you be you, the more that you understand what are your values, What do you believe in? What are your interests? What do you enjoy? The more that you can step into actually who you are, the more that you can become the woman that you desire to be, the woman that you dreamed of becoming.
Carla (00:17:51) - The woman who is true to herself, who knows herself. And if you've lost that clarity, please come and join Abundant Alchemy so we can get you there or take it a step further and just join the Matrix membership, because that is what the entire membership is based on, is to be able to step into your most confident self and understanding who you are. You don't want to fit into a constant mold, right? When someone is authentic and they show up the way that they would normally show up, it can be felt. It can be felt. You can feel it. And it's very attractive and also very effortless when someone shows up just as they are, when they're trying to fit in, when they're trying to follow the trends or do what's cool or change the way they speak. We all know those sort of people and we feel love and compassion for those people because they just don't know who they are. But we don't want you to be like that. We want you to have be authentic to yourself.
Carla (00:18:43) - So address these shadow aspects, okay? In the life when you can embody your celebrity archetype and strengthen those parts of your personality, unlock your shadow strengths and what you need to step a your intensity. Stop acting like a chameleon. And that's when life and business gets to become effortless and easy. So prioritize genuine relationships, cultivating intrinsic self esteem. Okay, not extrinsic. We don't want to seek that validation intrinsically. Embrace who you are because these are going to be essential in overcoming these shadows. All right. I hope you love this episode. The next one we're going to be talking about the Connector. But yeah, like I said, if you want to explore these a lot deeper, come and it the mini course it drops on September 1st where we're going to unlock our shadows together. So the link is in the show notes or go to money mindset hub com forward slash abundant and I'll see you there. So if you like this.
Carla (00:19:45) - Episode and you're interested in exploring your shadows further.
Carla (00:19:49) - I invite you to.
Carla (00:19:50) - Join the brand new mini course that I've created for you called Abundant Alchemy. And it's where we're going to illuminate your shadows to transform your relationship with money. So this is for the entrepreneur who desires to fully express herself without living behind a facade or trying to fit into a box. The more you uncover about your shadows, the less energy that you will use to hide those parts of yourself and actually embrace the incredible.
Carla (00:20:15) - Powerful.
Carla (00:20:16) - Potent magnetic woman that you can be. So if this is calling you, please check it out. The link is in the show notes or you can go to money mindset hub.com/abundant and I cannot wait to see you in there or I'll catch you in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did, I would absolutely love it. If you could please leave me a five star review and let me know your thoughts and if you know anyone who would benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them.
Carla (00:20:49) - Until next time, remember, everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance. So take that next step.