49. The Duality of Wanting More: Handling the Good and the Bad.
Get ready to take notes because in this episode of the Money Mindset Hub podcast, I am dropping some serious truth bombs. I am here to tell you that gaining clarity on what you want in life and business is crucial, and that more really does equal more. Don't waste any more time on what you don't want - it's time to get specific about what you do want and go after it with everything you've got. I'll be discussing the duality of wanting more, the good and the bad, and how to handle it like a boss. Plus, I'll be sharing my own experience of building a community around money mindset and offering valuable insights on how to be prepared for unexpected situations in business. And if that's not enough, I'll be giving you a sneak peek of my upcoming Money Matrix membership for female entrepreneurs. So buckle up and get ready to transform your mindset and your business.
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Speaker 0 (00:00:00) - Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Money Mindset Hub podcast. I'm your host, Carla Townend, and I am stoked that you were here. If you're new here, I am so happy that you were here, and I hope that you love everything in this episode. I also hope that you go back and binge a few the other ones, because there's been so much gold that I've dropped over this last, like year and a half since I started podcasting. And there's so much more to come because I feel like, you know, every week, every month, every year, we continually evolve and I'm definitely getting a hell of a lot clearer on what it is that I desire for this podcast and how it's going to look. And I just really want it to be a place of real talk. So I feel like the podcast is definitely gonna be a place where I'm gonna have a lot of conversations around what is coming up in my world, what's going on, what's my take on it?
Speaker 0 (00:00:42) - What am I learning? What am I, what am I transcending what's going on in my world? But then also it's kinda like I'm documenting the journey, like this is what's going on in my real life. So I wanna take you along for all of it, and I wanna be really real. And yeah, I mean, let's just dive in, right? So this episode is all about how more equals more and settling was never an option. So I'm gonna go into all of that. I'm gonna go around into like the clarity piece and how to understand, you know, how do you know what you want? How do you actually get clear on what it is that you want in your life, in your business, in your world? Like, what are you trying to manifest into, into, um, the 3d? But then also we're going to get the clarity on the duality that then comes with that, because essentially more equals more both of what you want and both of what you don't want, right?
Speaker 0 (00:01:30) - So how do you actually handle that duality and know that you've actually got to the point where you can handle that duality and you can handle whatever life throws at you and you can handle the good with the bad or all of that, right? So before we dive into more equals more, what I wanna chat about, I guess is, you know, what's been coming up, I guess recently? So actually, no, let's just dive in. Let's just dive in and that'll come out, I'm sure of it. All right, so lemme just talk on this. First off, first part of this conversation in, and it's something that's been coming up a lot recently, is getting clarity on what it is that you want, what it is that you desire to call in right now. And it's kind of just like a clarity check of where you're at and where you're going and, and what you wanna call in, what you wanna manifest, what you're working towards.
Speaker 0 (00:02:17) - Like, it's all these different things. And I feel like for us ambitious women in this life and in business, we're always trying to call in more. And sometimes we get a bit confused of like, well, what does that actually mean? Or how do I do that? Or where do I start and where do I go? So this has definitely been something that I've been going through even at the moment. It's like, okay, what do I, what do I want here? So it was a few weeks ago, I asked myself, what do I want? Like, what do I want in my business? Like, what's next? You know, what's next for me? What's next for an offer? Like, what is it? And I was like, you know, I knew I I need to build a community here and not need act. I shouldn't say that word cause I don't really like it. I don't need to build a community, but
Speaker 1 (00:02:58) - I desire to build a community because when I started, especially talking about money, my god, so taboo, right? But there wasn't a community where I felt that I could openly talk about the kind of money that I desired to make, you know, like the big dreamers and, and also celebrate money in a way. Like celebrate the money that was coming in and, and even go through the limiting beliefs and transcend together the challenges that there are. Because essentially we all want more money, right? We wouldn't be in business if we didn't want more money. Of course we want more money, but it's not necessarily money for the sake of money, right? We're not aiming to here to have like a million dollars in the bank because a million dollars will make us happy. We know better. We know that more money equals more success. It equals more freedom.
Speaker 1 (00:03:37) - That equals more choices, more opportunities, more and an abundant life to be able to do all the things that we desire to have, right? Do be experience all of it with our families and those that we love. That is why we're here, and that's why we're doing it. And to me, that is success. To me, success is ultimate freedom of choice, of time, of opportunities, of, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, one of my dreams is to definitely have a chef one day, so I never have to cook again in my life. Because if you are like me, you don't like cooking either. And if you didn't know that, yes, I, I despise cooking. Seriously, if I could never have to cook again for another day of my whole life, I would be, I'd be so happy. Let me clean all day every day, I don't care, but I seriously can't stand cooking.
Speaker 1 (00:04:20) - So here's the thing, first off, how do we get clarity on what we desire? Especially if like, you know, if you've been in business for a couple years too, like I have, you know, you do get to these points, you're like, what is it? What's next? What's, you know, you've evolved so much and the way that I do it and the way that I would suggest, you know, give it a go. See what, see what works for you. But I would suggest asking yourself, what don't I want? Now that might seem like a bit odd, but if you ask yourself what you don't want, you're gonna get those answers way quicker than what you would if you were like, okay, well what do I want? Um, um, you know what I mean? So if you ask yourself, well, what don't you want? It's very easy to come up with those answers.
Speaker 1 (00:05:05) - Okay, well, I don't wanna be strapped to a desk, nine to five. I don't want to be able to miss all my, my kids' events. You know, I don't want to never be able to walk them to school and drop them off, you know? Okay, so let's just say like that, right? For example, um, then off the back of that, once you've got your whole list of the things that you do not want, I want you to flip it. You know, that column A, what you don't want, and then column B. So what do you want? What is the opposite of the thing you wrote in column A and write it in B. So say, you know, I don't want to miss my kids' events. Okay, so what do you want then? If you don't wanna miss your kids' events, then what do you want?
Speaker 1 (00:05:50) - I wanna be there for all my kids' events. I wanna have the time freedom and the flexibility to be able to put them first, to be able to go to their swimming. They're dancing, they're whatever it is, I want the freedom and the flexibility to be there for my kids first and foremost. Great, perfect. You've got clarity. Now you know that you don't want that. And so I, what you actually do want is you want the freedom and you want the flexibility, and you want that choice, that freedom of time, flexibility, and choice, right? Okay, great. Now keep going through that list everything that you don't want. Flip it. What's the opposite? That'll give you exactly what you do. The more specific you can be, the better. So when I was doing this, I was like, well, what don't I want? I don't want to actively have to launch something brand new all the time and to keep doing things the way that I see it.
Speaker 1 (00:06:46) - You know, like I don't wanna keep operating my business the way that I see it because I am someone who has, I'm in this stage of life, right? And, and you probably understand this too, especially if you're another mother in business, you understand this life. It's like, well, our time is quite limited because we do have children that we're raising, and so we have to do things a little bit differently. And I thought, Rao, well, how can I actually still make a beautiful impact in this world and still build a beautiful community that I always desired to have and also maximize my time, right? There's only so many private clients you can get in. For example, I love private, don't get me wrong, because I love the connection that is built with private clients. So I will still continue to take on a couple at a time, but my time is also scarce.
Speaker 1 (00:07:32) - And I have little kids that depend on me. They're not all at school. I'm four years off having all my kids at school in school hours. So it's like, well, what can I do to build a community, right? So it's one to many. Hence, I'm going to launch a monthly money membership. So if interested, if that's interesting to you, to really have that place where you can talk about money, but also I'm gonna bring you a whole lot of gold, right? I'm gonna bring you a whole lot of gold transmissions. We're gonna be going so deep and like all the, all the things, right? All the things, money, mindset, quantum, all of it, masterclass, you name it, we're gonna have it all in there. If that is interesting to you, just go to money mindset hub.com/matrix, that's M A T R I x. And you can start up to the wait list.
Speaker 1 (00:08:20) - I love seeing everyone signing up to the wait list. Now, like there's several of you there already, and I haven't even really put it out, like only my email address, only my email subscribers had seen it. So that's amazing. I'll be doing more on that soon. But anyway, that's what I was kind of wanting. I was like, okay, well that makes sense to me, right? Like, that makes sense. So that's kind of how we got there. Now, second part to this is more equals more, more money equals more options, right? More clients equals more time, more success equals more responsibility. More
Speaker 2 (00:08:55) - Visibility equals more trolls. Okay? So more equals more both of what you want and also what you don't want. So can you teach your herself to hold the duality when they both come? Of course you can. Is it gonna be easy? No, probably not. like honestly, sometimes when you, you get the thing that you do want, but then you also get the exact opposite, which is what you don't. That is a lesson for you to grow, right? That is a chance to build resilience and prove to yourself what you're made of. So the other weekend, I had this incredible conversation with Mick, my husband, and it was literally just so igniting, like that was, that was probably the one word that I could use to describe it. It was so igniting and everything up until that point that I had envisioned to happen, like to be, to become true already or to be on its way, it's all happening, right?
Speaker 2 (00:09:45) - It's all happening. The, the clients, the success, the visibility, the money, the options of freedom, all of it. Like I am, my business is buying me back so much freedom. And I love that. I love it so much. And I also love seeing the most part is I love seeing the transformations, uh, there. I can't get over it. Like, if there's nothing better than having clients turn around and say that you've changed their life that they love and are obsessed with your body of work, and they just want more and more and more, like, there's nothing better than that, right? So that's when I was deciding, okay, well what do I want next? And that's when I did that clarity exercise, what don't I want versus what do I want? But also had to ask myself that question, okay? More equals more. So how do I then know that I've overcome that?
Speaker 2 (00:10:30) - And I can face the duality that comes with that, right? So let's give visibility, for example. We all want visibility in our businesses, but we don't want the trolls. Okay? We don't want the trolls, but that is just the way that it is. When you're working online and you have an online business, of course that's going to happen. More is more. And we can't control what that is. We can't control who comes in. We can only control two things in this life. And it's how we act, and it's how we react. That is all we can control. So something that I said to one of my clients a while back, now, when we were going through, you know, her fears, her doubts, her, all the things that were coming up, I said to her, write a list of all the things that could happen, might happen, might never happen.
Speaker 2 (00:11:17) - But everything that is in your head, and I mean both sides, all the, the more of the most beautiful things that could happen and more of all the things that you're scared about, that you fear about, that you're not sure what you would do if that happened. And then have a plan in place for when those, those things do happen. Not just for the good, but also for the ugly, right? What would you do when you have a hundred clients roll in tomorrow? What would you do? What would you need to have in place so that you could actually handle that influx? But then also, what would you do if you all of a sudden had a hundred trolls come in tomorrow? What would you do? How would you able to handle that? How would you tackle it? How would you move through
Speaker 3 (00:11:52) - It? So there's a, it may seem like so simple, uh, and it also might seem quite time consuming, but let's be real. We don't wanna be putting out spot fires in our businesses and in our lives even. You could use this, not even just in business, but even in your life, you don't wanna constantly be putting out fires all the time and waiting for something to happen until you deal with it. Like, oh, look, I'll deal with that. Should that ever happen? If you think there's a likelihood that it's gonna happen, and I mean, if you're a business owner, trolls, they will happen, right? They will happen. The severity, who knows? But it's, it's more than likely that'll probably happen at some point or other. So do you know what steps you would take? Do you know how you would have support? Do you know how you would handle that?
Speaker 3 (00:12:32) - Do you have like even responses that you can give back to them? Should you, or is it just like block and delete, whatever it is? What would you do if you had all of the beautiful things happen that you want to happen, or the clients or the money or the success or the time or the, all of it. But then what would you also do? On the flip side of that, more is more. So if you have a plan in place, you're not going to be putting out spot buyers. You're going to be proactive. And that's the thing, I really encourage everyone to be more proactive. And it's exactly that. I suppose that came from me being in corporate too. I was, I was a manager at 23, which, oh my God, that 10 years, no, wait, I'll be 32 this year. Okay, nine years .
Speaker 3 (00:13:16) - I wanted to check how old I was. Um, but yeah, anyway, I was a manager a long time. Actually, no, remember I was 22. I might have been 22. Yeah. Anyway, I don't remember. I was about nine, 10 years ago. I was a manager. And even in my team, I would always have like a contingency plan, a contingency plan in place, right? We do the risk assessment. What's our risk assessment? What's a contingency plan? Should that happen? Um, what's the likelihood of it happening? All of that sort of thing. You can do the same things in business. And this is actually something that I have had to pinch myself. No, not pinch myself, slap myself and be like, color, you know this, you have literally done this in work, like in your corporate role so many times. Like, what are you doing here? You are building this business, but you are forgetting these simple things like risk assessments and contingency planning and having these processes in place from the very beginning to make it easy on yourself.
Speaker 3 (00:14:12) - like setting up the foundations are so important. And don't get me wrong, it is very different when you start working for yourself compared to working for an employer or a big company, right? I've always worked for really big companies that they've had all this stuff in place, or when they didn't, I still had a lot of support. Like I've built, um, teams from scratch and I had to write all their processes from scratch. Like, you name it, I had to do it. I was in so many different parts of the business, and it was great. It's been incredible exposure and so many lessons I have learned from managing teams, designing businesses, costing them up. Like I had some pretty fancy roles. Like I was a project manager at one point, I was a solution architect
Speaker 4 (00:14:51) - At another point, like pretty fancy, lot of pressure, lot of work, but so many lessons that I can then incorporate into business. But in the beginning I didn't even think like, duh, these things are like, I'm building this to be a real business, not a hobby. So of course I need to put in, put all these in place, but these are just some simple things for you. You know, if you're not ready to go into the full risk management, literally just think off the top of your head, because I know you'll have so many of them sitting there, so many that you're like, oh, I actually had all these fears and doubts of like, this could happen. This might happen. What if this does happen? If you've got all of them, get them out, put 'em in a document, put 'em in a document, and then write steps on what would you do?
Speaker 4 (00:15:29) - Should that actually happen? Or what can you put in place now to ensure that you can handle it, that you can move through it, that you can do it from like your most, um, in the best way possible, right? Like in the way that you look back and be like, God, I did such a good job, God, I was like, that was great. You know, like, I'm so proud at how I actually responded to that situation. Or, damn, I'm so grateful that I actually had x, y, z in place prior to that happening because I didn't think it was gonna happen. Like there was a really small chance that it might happen, and then it did, but I had all this stuff in place, right? So even just little things like that, remembering that we're trying to build the foundations here for our business, because then it makes it so much easier and more is more, okay?
Speaker 4 (00:16:09) - And here is my, here's like my, my mantra for the last couple of weeks. This is literally what I've been repeating to myself over and over and over. It is, it's time to show yourself what you are made of, right? Actually, I mean, I haven't, I haven't been saying you, I've been saying it's time to show myself what I am made of, right? It's time to show myself what I'm made of because, and even capable, the word capable has come to me too, actually a couple of times. A couple of times I've been like, it's time to show myself what I'm capable of. Because when you are capable for so much, and seriously, we've gotta remind ourselves who the fuck we are sometimes because we have been here for a long time, and sorry if we've got kids in the back sometime my kids are, well, one's asleep, one's at school, and one's off in his room, so he cannot hear me.
Speaker 4 (00:16:55) - So occasionally I'll drop , like occasionally I'll curse. And then I'm like, oh, wait, hang on, you might be like me and listen to podcasts on the car and your kids are there. Anyway, sorry about, but at the end of the day, you wanna be making like the big boss moves in the back end, right? And you wanna be visualizing the possibilities as well and stepping into the next version of you. So the next version of you, does she have the things in place? It, does she have clarity on what she wants, what she doesn't want? Does she have clarity on what she will do? Should or any of those things happen, all the things that she wants and all the things that she doesn't want? Is she putting out spot fires or does she have an actionable plan? Is she proactive? Does she do her due diligence? Because I know you do, and I know that there's always room for us always to improve, but when you build the foundations of your business from the ground up and remember to treat it like a real business, which I mean, to be honest, like I did not for the first 12 months ,
Speaker 5 (00:17:49) - I honestly was actually for the first couple of years, I was probably just like winging it. And sometimes even now I'm like, am I winging this? Like, you know, I mean, sometimes I still feel like that, but it's also fun to be pr um, to be creative and playful in your business as well. Like, you don't want it to feel like a drag. So have fun with it. But also remember that, you know, you wanna be proactive. You wanna set your business up and your s self up and your so self and yourself up for success, okay? So get into it. Start making those big boss moves, start visualizing the possibilities. Start stepping into the next version of you and doing the things that you need to do in order to get the clarity and remember who you are, because more equals more regardless of whether you want it or not.
Speaker 5 (00:18:32) - But I know that you can handle it. And I hope this helped you. And like I really quickly mentioned in the episode, if you are interested in coming and joining my live energy every single month, please go to money mindset hub.com/matrix and get on the wait list because I'm gonna be dropping all the details soon for the membership because I just need like a, an outlet of beautiful women in a safe place in a community. And I mean, you ladies listening, I, I do feel safe here sharing my message, but I wanna take it to the next level. You know, I wanna do the transmissions, the live activations, the really going deep, the hot seat coaching, like I wanna do it all, and I wanna give it to you all. And I really feel like I need to cultivate this, this really safe place for female entrepreneurs who are ready to take it to the next level and quantum leap and really start making some serious money and some serious moves here. And that's what we're gonna do in the Money Matrix membership. So until next time, uh, remember, everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance. So take that next step.