31. Navigating divorce, finances & unbecoming who you are to find inner peace with Yas Hussain
Yas is a relationship and divorce recovery coach, a guide, a healer, who is deeply compassionate about helping high achieving women live happy, healthy, full expressed lives, rooted in self worth and self love.
We dive deep into how she pivoted her business to lead into her natural passion and strengths by following her intuitive nudges that were highlighted from her own resistance, so can support women into living a life they don’t want to go on a holiday from.
She speaks about how she made the decision to leave her marriage and what lead to that decision, the importance of all of our relationships and how it stems directly from your relationship with yourself and unbecoming everything you thought you had to be in order to be your authentic self.
We discuss money, independence when it comes to being married, how many women stay because of assets and sacrifice their inner peace, the areas of exploration that you may need to dive into if you notice these thoughts or behaviours coming up in your relationship, as well as finding your identity during motherhood, in your relationship and after experiencing divorce.
Connect with Yas on IG here @_ms_yas_
View her offerings here
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Welcome to the money mindset hub podcast. I'm your host Carla Townsend, and money mindset and success coach on a mission to normalize feminine wealth through empowering the minds of fierce females in business, you're in the right place if you are a female who wants to become a vibrational match to attract more wealth, freedom and abundance, because the world needs more kind hearted women like you with deep pockets. So let's get started.
0:25
Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. So today I have an absolutely incredible guest for you. Who is someone that I actually met in the mastermind that I'm in and she is just a powerhouse of a woman? And I'm so glad to have connected with you years. Yes is a relationship and divorce recovery coach, a guide a healer, who was deeply passionate about helping high achieving women live happy, healthy, full Express lives, rooted in self worth and self love using a holistic approach. Yes, started her career in finance, and very quickly knew it wasn't for her. She then spent over a decade supporting and coaching people in their professional careers. Her midlife awakening and burnout led her to completing her coaching certification largely to support herself, which then naturally led to working with others, one to one and through group programs. Welcome. Yes,
1:25
thank you so much. It's an absolute honor to be here. And I have just relished in connecting with your the bottom line and being around your energy and vibrancy and enthusiasm. It's just been amazing. So thank you so much for having me on the podcast.
1:38
Oh, look, honestly Same to you. Because every time I listened to your voice messages, I'm just like lit up on fire because I can hear the passion in your voice and the excitement too. So Yaz has actually just pivoted her business. So yes, I want to hand it over to you and tell us a little bit about you and your business.
1:58
Thank you. So at a high level, I started in finance, as you pointed out, when I started coaching, it was largely for myself, so I studied my certification and holistic health coaching that seven years ago now. And then I sat on it, I was like, do I really want to coach so I actually started in network marketing. So network marketing was like my kind of pathway out of corporate in terms of giving me an element of connection, purpose, and just pure joy. So I was doing doTERRA essential oils. And I would just very naturally attract women who were feeling stuck, burnt out, overwhelmed, and all the things so I started coaching through that avenues. And then I was like, Look, I've been doing career coaching for forever, and helping people with their corporate careers. I'm not, I'm a natural coach, and mentor and guide. So I started doing one to one coaching through my net doTERRA network and community and then started buying border than that. And then I pivoted, maybe two or three years ago color into Holistic Life Coaching where I was focusing largely on health, Korea, and relationship. And then recently, I had sort of the nudge to focus more in the relationship realm. And I kept sort of like avoiding it, because I was I was experiencing some resistance around it, and then just made the pull. So I kind of like got knocked on my ass with a flurry. About a month ago, I was in a little container and emergent wheat cacao. And as I sat with cacao every day, like I just kept getting more clarity and more clarity and more clarity, I was like, it's time to pivot. So I've now pivoted into the relationship realm, largely foking, focusing on relationship to self and supporting women with sort of finding themselves again, going through breakup and divorce. So I'm very passionate about people, particularly women living a life that they are genuinely happy to live, as opposed to settling for something that is not what their soul and their spirit desires. I want women to feel empowered, strong, vital, vibrant, and just, you know, very content with their lives. And I have this sort of saying where I want people to live a life that they don't need to escape from or don't need to feel like they need to take a holiday from and then come back and get back into that daily grind. Because, you know, we can go through lives, go on that sort of autopilot and then go on a holiday feel refreshed, come back and it's like, oh shit, here we go again. I totally get that.
4:21
I feel like you need to find that balance, right? Yes, yeah. 100%. So yeah, recently pivoted into relationship and divorce, recovery coaching. And it's something that I'm absolutely deeply enjoying. And it's been my own path as well. So I left my marriage, about five foot four and a half, five years ago, was separated for a year and then I went through the divorce. So I've been there. It's not something that I'm teaching on that I'm not familiar with. And in part into sort of coaching women, we've holistic life coaching relationships are a big part. And when we talk about relationship, it's relationship in terms of how we relate. So not just to, you know, not just romantically, not just sort of, you know, the dating world or in romantic relationships is how we relate most importantly to ourself, because our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for everything else in our life. But then in our turn our relationship with our friends, our family relationship with food with technology, it's the whole gamut. But it starts with self.
5:18
Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like unless you've got a really positive and healthy relationship with yourself, you don't really know what it is that you want in all those other areas, or you're not showing up as your true authentic self, in the other relationships in your life, if you're not really clear, and don't have clarity on who you are, and what it is that you want and desire in your life.
5:38
100%. And there we go through life sort of numbing, and distracting with food and technology, sex, alcohol, and all the things because we're living a life that is sort of, you know, at 50 or 60%, in terms of where we are, from a spirit point of view. So from an energetic point of view, when we are living a life that we're not genuinely happy and passionate about, we then find distractions and opportunities to essentially check ourselves out we disassociate from life. So when we take the time to really connect with who we are, and it's not becoming anything that you're not, it's unbecoming everything that you are to then become your authentic self.
6:16
Yeah, I love that. I love what you just said. Yeah, it's like, it's unbecoming, isn't it? It's like, yeah, it's like avoiding or not avoiding, but just disregarding everything that you thought you were supposed to be do think all those sorts of things. And just letting yourself be who you are, who you were actually born to be. Because I think a lot of the time, and I'm sure you understand this, as well, but I think a lot of the time, we think that our life has to play out in a certain way. And whether it's just the societal norms, you know, like, how did you feel when you got divorced? Like when you made that decision to leave? Like, how did you feel in terms of like, oh, is this what I'm supposed to be doing is this, you know, is my life was supposed to look like this. And now it doesn't. And it's such a real reality for so many women and men, but
7:09
it's not an easy place to be at it takes time. So it took me years to make the decision. I knew, but I just wasn't ready to accept and make that make that decision. Because there was family involved. It was an 18 year relationship. And not that time. Yes, time is irrelevant, but it also isn't. But it took me time to sort of move through that the emotions and what comes up for people is not necessarily the need to make peace that this is what they want to do, is letting go of the past version. So the person that fell in love with because so often we find ourselves in relationship. And as we've been together, sometimes people evolved, sometimes they don't. So we stay in love with the person that we met sometimes, and not the person they are today. So there was an element of that. And then in turn, there was also the grieving process that I need to go through before I actually left, because I needed to grieve the future that I'd hoped for, that I was hanging on, and the potential that I saw, but the potential wasn't really marrying up to where I want it to be. And on paper, we had everything. So we had a really connected relationship. And in that we got along really well. There was chemistry there. We had a lot of history, we had everything in terms of the home for two matching cars, and to try and weigh the well behaved dog, the sun, so we had everything. So from the outside looking in, it was like you guys have got it all. But in truth, we were mismatched because we were together for 18 years. And we grew apart. And you know, the question I remember asking myself one day when I was sitting outside, was if I met this person today, would I still choose him who he is now? And it was a resounding no.
8:46
Wow. And you can't deny that either? That's such a powerful question to ask yourself. And I've never heard it. I've never heard it mentioned like that. But that is Yeah, yeah.
8:57
Because in working with women over the years, I have seen and witnessed not just in my clients, but friends and family as well. They are in love with the person that they met, they're not really accepting where they both are now and in turn a holding on to this forever lifestyle that we buy into it when we when we marry your commit trip to a person that that person is meant to be that person for life. And yes, I could see myself getting old with him. But I couldn't see myself living and growing with him. And no disrespect to him because he's a lovely person. He's got the biggest heart, but he just wasn't meant to be my life story from a relationship point of view. And there was a lot of self discovery that I needed to go through as well. So for me, it was really making peace with that. And then I honestly felt just depleted and energetically cut off from from the world. So it felt like my soul was suffocating. Like, that's how I describe it. So it was just like, am I gonna live like this for the rest of my life or another 18 or 13 years? Or am I gonna make the call now to leave And so that we can both live happily because, you know, for me, it was, yes, it was important for me to to find peace and live out a life that I was generally happy with, but also wanted him to find that I didn't want him settling in a relationship where the person wasn't 100% in as well. So it was very amicable and I was really lucky that I somehow things transpired for us. But for me, it took time. But it also needed to get out. And I needed to get to a place where there was acceptance, there was making peace with the past, and also letting go of the potential in the hope that I had for the future. So you almost kind of go through a grieving process before you leave. And then you grieve again after you after you leave.
10:37
Yeah, because then it becomes real, doesn't it? And you're right, like, we bind to this forever, idea, this dream, this vision, and I mean, that's what we're told, right? You know, you you grow up, you find someone, you marry them, you have a house, you have children, you do all these things. But no one ever talks about that, that there's either couples that grow together, or there's couples that grow apart, but then what do you do, if you do grow apart, it's more just, well, you should be growing together, or you should just be putting up with it. I feel like that's kind of the underlying narrative.
11:10
You focus on communication, and you have this amicable relationship and us kind of settle and you know, if that's your desire, there's no judgment, there's nothing wrong with that. But also, we're not taught how to pick a partner, in our younger years, we are looking for that new tire for that chemistry for that, you know, excitement and things like that. And yes, that's all important. But what a true, true sort of relationship or partnership is built on particularly romantically is mutual values, similarities in terms of our values, you know, our desires and our vision, is there a connection there? And then in turn, you know, from a communication perspective, what does that look like? There's so many elements that create a healthy foundation for a relationship. And it's not something we're taught in school or through our parents largely when we're growing up. So we go out and we fall in love. And then we think it's all rosy roses and peaches, but it's not.
12:02
It's definitely challenging, has been, and I've been together 10 years. And it's, I mean, I'm, yeah, I'm very grateful head on heart can say that we're definitely a couple that has grown together. I was only 20 When I met MC 20. And he was 23. So we've we've definitely grown together and feel so much more connected now. And in love the well we don't even know like, what will you ever have, but I don't know, I just but it has taken a lot of work. And there's been so many times where, you know, we would butt heads or we would disagree, or we would just have different views on things. But at the end of the day, there's support. Number one, there's always support, there's always a willingness to let each other speak. And to understand and know that you're not always right. And that's something I had to work on to is this, this idea of like I had to always be right, right, I was very stubborn, we both are very stubborn. So it was actually that relationship mirrored. So that relationship talking about his past and our relationship, mirrored so many areas of our selves that we needed to grow and evolve and heal, in order to have that kind of relationship.
13:11
And that is genuinely a growing relationship and growth relationship because you're able to hold up a mirror. So relationships always hold up a mirror. But when there's an element of intimacy as well, physically and emotionally, it absolutely becomes one of our biggest teachers and you can either drift apart, or you can have one who's open to growth and the other isn't, or you can grow. And you're not always going to grow at the same pace or rate. But there's an element of connectedness. And I guess what really makes that work is there is mutual effort, intention and attention in a relationship because otherwise, you'll find yourself in these relationships where one person's kind of putting in all the work and caring the relationship that just ends up in resentment, disconnection and so much more. So that's one of the foundations we work on as well. But yeah, we're not taught this when we're younger. So I met my ex and I was 19. Yeah, wow. They were and we evolved. And we got to a point where we were, yeah, there wasn't that element of connection anymore. And who I was becoming because I was unbecoming. All I wasn't, was not aligned. And there was just Yeah, it wasn't wasn't meant to me.
14:19
Wow. And you also have a son, so that would have made the dynamic way harder.
14:24
Yeah, he was four, he was four when I left and I came from a divorced family. So I never in my wildest dreams, hoped or believed that I would end up in a position of separation and divorce either because I didn't want that for my son having been through that as a child. But as I sort of did the work and went through the healing, although it definitely impacted me in my younger years now that I am who I am now, looking back, I was I'm so grateful that my parents did separate and divorce because I would have hated living in that relationship forever. But you know, in that dynamic, I would have disliked that for my mom as well. And I was saved from so much debt. snort trauma in different ways by them separating. And so I would sit and ask myself, what was the standard that I was wanting to set for my son in the way that he'd received love in terms of what his standards were for what you know, a relationship look like. And that wasn't it. So I didn't want him looking at our relationship and setting the bar in terms of that was love. And that's how we treat each other because not that there was a lot of abuse or anything by any means. But it was disconnected. And it was dysfunctional. And I didn't want that for him. So he now has more present parents, he has more happy parents. And that's what I want for him. So you know, no matter what decision we make, there's always going to be an element of us traumatizing unintentionally, our children, because they're, they are on their own part. So when we are in the work, sometimes we can get so hung up on, you know, I'm not going to do this, I don't want to do that, because I don't want it to impact them, no matter what the decision is, there's going to be an impact, we don't know what that's going to be until they're older. So I was very open with him. And I still am about, you know, we'll talk about this when you're older, this is what's happening. And I will give him enough information that was age appropriate. But I would always and still do keep the lines of communication open. So you can talk about what's going on how he's feeling because he's essentially been two lives and his whole life with me, and then his life with dad. So we've kept it as amicable and connected as we can in that respect. But it wasn't an easy decision. Because again, I never thought I would have my child experience what I experienced in terms of coming from a divorced home. But I actually did a post the other day where I talked to this perception from a society around a broken home. And a broken home needs to be a two parents that don't live together. And I completely disagree with that. Because you can have parents that stay together that are dysfunctional, or toxic or abusive, or whatever it is. And that is a broken home to you know,
16:55
that's worse, honestly, live in a place like that and environment like that. That's just yeah, that's terrible. But yeah, I totally understand like that. My parents actually still together haven't been together since I was 18. Which is amazing. This is amazing. They were told that they will never last and then they just had their 30 year wedding anniversary. I know it's so beautiful. But for my husband, his parents were separated. But yeah, I mean, now looking, there's there's absolutely no way that it would have worked best, totally different. And so it worked out for the best because they both went on to find beautiful people that suited them. And it's so good. You know, it's so good. And it's also, I suppose for the app, kids like grandkids, now they've got more sets of grandparents, so they love it.
17:50
I love that, Oh, I love that. But yes, it's not for everyone, it takes a lot of courage. And you know, that path of sort of growth and discovery is such a personal choice. So you can either choose to stay and settle. Or you can choose to be in a dynamic, where it's amicable, and you're happy. Because unfortunately, in this day and age, a lot of people stay because of money, and assets, and things like that. So I was always in a position having seen my parents go through separation and divorce, I was adamant I would never 100% rely on a man. So I was always independent. I always had my own income and things like that. So I was able to make that decision to leave, where there are unfortunately, a lot of women that are not in that position, so they are forced to stay. And that's a different ballgame altogether. But yeah, I was always very independent and still am. So I chose to make that decision. And I think for me, it was a place from a place of fear around how am I going to take care of myself and my son, it was really around my well being my happiness, and in turn my exes and my son. So it was really around. How do we make this the best we can? Yes, it's going to be you know, there's going to be a lot of change initially. But in the long term, I would hands down, do it again. And sometimes I get asked, you know what, I'm a single mom, it must be hard. And I turn around and say it is so much easier. I'm on my own, I have the freedom, I'm happy. And that in turn makes it a lot easier because there's just you can't put a price on inner peace.
19:22
No, no. What's life, right? What's love? What's your experience of life, your human experience? If you don't have inner peace, you're not actually happy? If you're living a facade, basically, if if internally there's such a disconnect.
19:36
That's right. And that's where I was so where I am now. There's just yeah, I'm completely content with my life. And yes, there are things that I want to achieve and do and that's just part of life. But that guides for that journey and I call it my midlife awakening was just like the biggest gift and it was also a catalyst for another level of healing from my parents divorce as well. Because so often The resistance we face in the relationship is not just about ending the relationship, it's about all the what ifs that our children are gonna go through. And we're gonna go through because we don't want them to experience what we did as children, or what we believed was not like, or, you know, it's, again, all those expectations and societal conditioning and conditioning from parents, all unintentional that we kind of land in, and then we form thoughts and beliefs around. So we need to kind of unpack that before we make that decision sometimes as well.
20:26
Yeah, it's a massive decision. There's so many different layers to it, you know, and time, like you said, that's the most important thing.
20:34
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and taking the time to get support, because having sort of gone through it now and supported other women with separation and just relationships in general, when we go through that, you're stepping into a new identity. So just like I've pivoted in my sort of Korean business, every time I've done that, I've stepped into a new version of me a new identity, and going through a divorce. So you're not you're not only sort of finding yourself single in your 30s or 40s. Again, you're then finding yourself finding out who you are, as a single mom, you're finding out what you value, before you start dating, again, you're finding out what do I stand for what I want in a partner, and you've a lot clearer when you're older, because you don't have that sort of level of thinking or intention when you're younger, but it's stepping into a completely new identity, as well. So getting support to someone to just hold that energetic space for you for you to talk to for you to be guided by is so important.
21:26
So a question that I get asked a lot is, do we share bank accounts? Right is this such I think there's so many different ways that this quote like this could go, and I think it's very individual, it's so personal, it's so personal. So for us, we didn't join everything until we were married. And that even had like resistance from my husband. So obviously, because his parents had divorced when he was younger, and there was a lot of talk on him. So he works in construction. So there was a lot of talk in his worksite. About, you know, them getting pocket money, and like the wife controlling everything. And he's like, why, like, you know, I go to work, and I earned this money, I don't want to be like, have pocket money. And I said, Who's putting those ideas in your head? But so, personally, this is what we do, we do have everything combined. And that's just because it makes it easier for us and doesn't like he couldn't even tell you how, who our electricity provider is right? He has no idea because he's not interested in doing that. And I'm a bit like, OCD with it. But also, I think my relationship with money, even when we started dating was very different. You know, over time, his relationship with money has improved. So then it had helped just me controlling that side of things. Yes, yes. But I have found for us, that that works well. And that it's easy. But I do know a few people that are married that have separate bank accounts, and it's kind of like his and hers. And there's this, this feeling of like, it brings me independence, I don't have to rely on them. But then I but my my thing was that is if you're married, though, you are relying on one another. So it doesn't matter. Like do you really need to feel complete independence when you're in a marriage, when you see it going? Obviously you don't get married with the intention of getting divorced, right. But, but and maybe that's because you know, having separated parents and life experiences and beliefs and bolts up until that point that where that decision is kind of made, is again, a super individual,
23:46
very essential, personal thing. And I think it's, you know, if you've got that intention around the independence piece, there's an opportunity to do a bit of explanation. Because regardless of what your background is, and what your history was, there's something there from preventing you from being I guess, what I'm hearing as being all in the so to speak, and there's nothing wrong with having a level of independence. And for us, we were together for a long time before we got married. So, you know, after living together for some period of time, we had a joint account, but we also had an individual account. So we had an agreement on what our commitments were in terms of financial, you know, ins and outs and things like that. So we'd both contribute XYZ to the bank account. That wasn't we weren't held accountable for that either. Like it sort of ebbed and flowed. And then anything left over, we had complete autonomy to spend on whatever we decide. And that didn't change too much after we got married. So after we got married, we had more intentions around investments and property and things like that. So the contribution increased, but what we did outside of that, sort of we had complete autonomy around providing it wasn't a certain, you know, sort of dollar frame. So if you want to go spend 20 or 30 grand which had a chat about it, people want to spend a couple of 100 different stories so I think it's such an individual thing. But at the same time, I think there's an element of, like I said, we don't go into marriage with intention to get divorced. But in this day and age where separation and divorce is so prevalent, you also need to be smart. So you don't want to be completely naive. But you need to protect yourself at the same time.
25:21
Yeah. And I don't say there's right or wrong either way. I just prefer, like a will. Both of us prefer to have things together, because that's just the way that it's worked. And we found it easier. But yeah, it is a choice for a lot of people to not. And yeah, I wonder like, like you said, if this independence thing is coming up, there's probably something to dive into there. Like, do you fully trust your partner? Do you fully trust yourself? Is there? Why do you feel like you need to be so independent and have that separation there? Nobody's separation. But yeah, just a different way of doing things.
25:52
Yeah, it's the energy it comes from. So it's not. It's the energy it's coming from. So for me, my parents, what I witnessed was we had quite a comfortable life. And when my parents separated, my mom was left with nothing. And because she moved from India to Australia, legally, he didn't need to pay child support or help in any way. So she had no financial support. So we kind of went from having everything, and I'm talking cooks, cleaners, drivers, and, you know, a lot of comfort to my mom in a three bedroom home, working full time and looking after two children. So I as a young girl made this like commitment to myself that I would never let that happen to me. She went from a lot of wealth and comfort to completely being wiped out and not saving $1 Almost. So for me, I had not trust issues, but my money mindset and my money, beliefs was I need to hold my own. Because I will never let a manager that to me. So I trusted my husband, I completely had faith in the decisions he would make. But there was always this element of caution for me to say, I cannot allow myself to should anything happen to end up in that position?
27:05
Yeah, that makes total sense to write. That's why it's such an individual decision. Yes, there's what you've gone through your experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and observations at that point was like, No, I always need to have something for myself. Did you find it changed with motherhood? Nine, did you get back to work like full time? Or did you go time or because this is again, a lot of the women that I work with are mothers, right? So the money dynamic then changes because husbands earning more, and they're not. And then they obviously feel like they are more dependent and can feel a bit guilty about spending money and making decisions around money and all this sort of thing. This guilt ties in.
27:49
Yeah, me motherhood absolutely changed me. But it was also the catalyst. And my and it helped me realize where I wasn't what I wanted, because I was sort of questioning my career path before I had my son. And I was asking for my husband to step up in a different way. And he just couldn't do that for me. And when I went through motherhood, I was able to have almost 12 months off. So we were in a financial position to do that, that was fine. And then when I went back to work, I went back full time, because a my job wouldn't allow me to work part time in a way that I was going to be paid for what I was doing. And so I went back full time. And I had an amazing manager at the time, who allowed me to work for days and still get paid for five. Oh, that's amazing. Like back then was already working from home. So I was working from home, three, four days a week anyway. So I was very fortunate in that sense. And then I came to a point where I was sort of questioning what I do. And motherhood was definitely a catalyst for me in that it not only set me on my new career path, it also confirmed that I essentially had two children. And one of which was my husband, so it was time to change things around. So I never was in that position where I was more dependent on him. Because, again, I wouldn't allow that. And I couldn't at the time, because he just wasn't able and willing to step up to the degree he needed to, for us to sustain the lifestyle that we had. So yeah, different experience in that regard. But for the 12 months that I was on maternity leave or parental leave, it was fine because we had savings that we use in addition to his income. So I never felt like I was relying on him or that I was less than or anything like that, because he just did what he needed to do for us to get through that job once he wanted me to be there with our son, which was amazing. But yeah, like I said, I went back full time, so I didn't have that experience. Yeah, that's yeah, so interesting.
29:49
It's such a personal thing. And I think in this day and age, you know, if there's, there's so much opportunity, so yes, we have our jobs that we sometimes you know, go on forever. To live from and things like that, but I think one of the aspects I'm very passionate about is empowering them financially as well. And it's not currently an offering that I have by any means. But it's definitely something I would like to incorporate, particularly as I grow, because seeing women settle for a life that they are not contented with, because of money just breaks my heart. And I know I can't change that it's their own journey. However, over time, as I grow, that is definitely an element that I'd love to incorporate into my business. And maybe it's more on the sort of volunteer side to help women who are in those positions. However, if there was a time in our lives where opportunities were endless, it is now
30:40
100%. There is so much stuff. I mean, you think about it, we have so much easier than our parents did, and our grandparents did, there's a thing called the internet. You can you can build businesses, from very little capital. You know, depending on what you want to do, you can just start dipping your toes in the water and just see where it takes you. But obviously, as we know, there is so much mindset work behind that. Mindset, money, mindset, relationships, everything, everything. If you want to like work on yourself and have a real go on a journey of self discovery. You start a business 100%
31:19
Everything I've ever spoken to an online business that hasn't agreed 100% Yeah, it shows up everything.
31:26
Yeah, visibility blocks, worthiness, money mindset, relating the whole caboodle. Yeah, it's an it's an epic, personal development journey.
31:36
It definitely is. No, but I love that as well. Because I think often when women become mothers, they also think that that's it, you know, I have to put everything on pause. And I felt the same to when I've had my my first daughter who's five. I also felt like I was going so well, I was getting promoted all the time. And then I was pregnant. And then I was actually made redundant. Two weeks after I told my boss, I was pregnant. Yep, very early on, because I just wanted to be open because of the roles I was put in there were really good to me. But they were good to me until they weren't until I guess I felt now whether this is the truth or not, but I personally felt that it was because I was no longer a Yes, man. Or Yes, woman. But you know, like, I was no longer going to be like that, because things would shift. And I think that that happens so many times, for women, especially, you know, we kind of we kind of lose our identity a little bit, we lose that drive, sometimes like the motivation, the inspiration, the clarity of who we are. And we end up just identifying as mum, mum and wife, and we don't know who we are
32:47
100%. And you know, a lot of the work that I do, again, is helping women find who they are rediscover themselves, because they've either lost themselves in motherboard and relationship, or they've come out of divorce. And they're like, who am I and they kind of pour themselves into their business and motherhood as a way to sort of not only escape, but that's all they know. So my experience with motherhood was, I was very fortunate growing up because I had a lot of strong women around me and I have always had a very strong sense of self and worth in some respects, although back then it's probably more superficial. Now, however, I was very intentional about not losing myself and motherhood. So I kind of gave myself a extra trimester. So after I was born, I had my fourth trimester with him. And then when he was at an age where I think it was three months, I started sleeping quite well. And all the things we were fortunate in that regard. I started taking time out for myself. So I would take myself that I'd Express, I'd go out for a few hours, my ex would help or his parents would help. And by the time he was nine months, I put him in daycare one day a week. So I would have that time for myself before I went back to work. So I had a very different journey with sort of motherhood and things like that. But I was very intentional about not losing myself in motherhood or relationship. Because I've always wanted to be me. And I think I've always had this inner knowing that there was so much more to life, not to say that Mother woods, not important or relationships, not important. But I'm Yasmin first I'm yes first and then I'm a mom, and then I'm a coach, and then I'm a healer and everything else. And I think for me, that's probably what ignites me around helping women find that as well. Because it wasn't my journey. And sometimes I know we teach what we went through. Divorce is an element of that. However, yeah, not not losing yourself and motherhood and relationship and everything else is so important because, yeah, it's about relating and knowing who you are because again, that sets the tone for everything else.
34:57
Yeah, absolutely. Otherwise how to We know were even going to live out our life the way that we wanted to. And I love that you said, you know, knowing I can 100% relate to that. It was always this love being a mom, absolutely best job on the planet. But at the same time, I always knew that there was more. Yes, you know, and yeah, not sounding ungrateful or anything. Like I said, very, very blessed to be a mom three times. So it's busy, but I'm so blessed every single day when I look at their little faces. But at the same time, it was always like that, who am I? I know, I wanted to fulfill my potential and be successful. Yes, always looked for that success. Same high projector, I found that out afterwards. Oh, my God, that makes so much sense.
35:46
Completely lost. It's always been calling me up to, you know, figure out what's next, what direction my business is going in, or what pursuits I need to explore to discover new parts of myself. So you know whether I felt lost in business like I did earlier this year, because I was primitive. And I was resisting that pivot. It's always taking, isn't it? When we go through that period of feeling lost or losing ourselves? It's only so we can find ourselves and find the light again?
36:11
Yeah, there's always a lot, right. And we go through those difficult times in life and those ebbs and flows. Because yes, it isn't always rainbows. They're always for a reason. Yeah. And you know, I love the saying, I think I've said it like multiple times, you know, mastermind chat, but it's all coming together. Yes. Every time there's some sort of resistance, or there's shades of ban or there's something right. Okay, it's all coming together.
36:37
For us, coming for us, right? So it's shitty as it can be. Again, it's always happening for us because it's putting you on the right path.
36:45
I think we've been talking for a bit now. God, we could probably talk for hours. Just I guess quickly, what are some of the what's like, like one of the biggest mindset shifts that you have had pre selling a business to now?
37:01
Mm hmm. Gosh, great question. For me, it's the protection of time. juggling multiple things like motherhood, or working part time or doing something else in addition to our business, we feel like we need all the time in the world. And I went through this period, Carla, well, I had an 18 month career break, and I was gonna focus a lot on my business and travel with my son. And that didn't happen. Because we ended up in lockdown. However, I had 18 months and I didn't do anything. move the needle. So being intentional, managing our energy and focusing our intention on a live action is like hands down the right way to go. Because we can get caught up in the overthinking in the dreaming and the vision, but not actually do anything because we feel we don't have time, and then we get overwhelmed. So that's probably one of my biggest lessons. And then in addition to that, it's just being able to find your authentic voice and speak so you know, moving through any visible visibility blocks, clearing that throat, throat chakra, and just being you, apologetically.
38:06
Yeah, I love that. I love that. And don't we love a throat chakra just like talking to me, told me. Exactly. I love that. Is there anything that you wanted to finish on? For the listeners? Anything you wanted to give them as a takeaway? Or how do they find you as well?
38:26
Yeah, best place at the moment is Instagram. So you can find me on the gram. I've got everything linked up in terms of current offers and things like that. Lots of new things coming due and I've just pivoted in the last month or so. So watch this space. If you're a nice support, you can book one to one sessions with me. So the gram is definitely the right place to find me. In terms of final comments. It's just been a delight talking to you. So thank you again for having me. I've thoroughly enjoyed this. And like I said, we could talk for hours. I have no doubt.
38:52
I know Yeah, we definitely. Thank you for coming on. It's been amazing. And I will link everything in the show notes so they can find you very, very easily. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon.
39:07
Thanks for listening to this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it and if so, please subscribe to the podcast and join our mailing list at money mindset hub.com. Until next time, remember, everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance. So take that next step.