20. How to stop sabotaging your success and shift overwhelm.
In this episode we talk all things:
How you might be self sabotaging the success of your business and your life without even realising.
How ‘divine timing’ can be flipped as a sabotaging behaviour, rather than living and working in flow.
The simple 3 step method I do when I am feeling overwhelmed, scattered and just spread thing wearing all of the hats.
To do lists add to my overwhelm and make me anxious, do this instead.
Do you have the systems set up to support when you have energetic lows or life gets in the way?
Creating content when I’m in energetic alignment, but how it can be easier.
Let’s talk about the common sabotages that show up, i.e. procrastination, perfectionism, not selling, having too many ideas that you don’t know what to do with, never finishing things and more!
Good is good enough, so start the habit stacking behaviour to build the momentum.
Real talk, my own self sabotaging behaviours that I’m aware of that you may have in common.
Self sabotages can be conscious or unconscious.
Accountability type quiz - click here
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Welcome to the money mindset hub podcast. I'm your host, Carla Townsend, and money mindset and success coach on a mission to normalize feminine wealth through empowering the minds of fierce females in business, you're in the right place if you are a female who wants to become a vibrational match to attract more wealth, freedom and abundance, because the world needs more kind hearted women like you with deep pockets. So let's get started. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. So before we get into it, this episode is brought to you by my brand new group coaching program money methodology. It's a five week program that will absolutely change your life. And it kicks off March 16. So the link is in the show notes. Otherwise, you can go to my website, money mindset hub.com forward slash money methodology. Alright, let's just get straight into it. Because this is all about how to stop sabotaging your success, something I am just really great at doing. I don't know a lot of us out whether we consciously or unconsciously are aware of it or not, we actually all do it. So straight up. I am a serial procrastinator, right? It is one of the areas where I struggled the most. And I know it holds me back from propelling my success in my business way quicker than you know I currently am. But at the same time, I realized that everything happens when it's supposed to happen. But I obviously need to be aware of what's going on. Right. So I definitely believe in divine timing. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. And the divine timing is when ideas come to you that are supposed to come to you in that moment. Right. But then there's also a big part of me that goes we know what there's divine timing, but we can't blame timing for inaction, and not doing the damn thing. So some of the ways that we self sabotage. I mean, here's some personal examples of how I self sabotage my success is I will procrastinate so much, you know, my energy will be low, I have might have failed to put in systems in place to make it easier for me and then all of a sudden, I have a very low energy day. So if you're familiar with human design, I'm a projector. I do not have sustainable lifeforce energy like those manifestos and generators out there, they can just keep going, going, going going, right, I can only work optimally for a couple hours a day. And then I'm, I'm done, I'm exerted, there goes my energy. So what I have done, and it continues to refine, obviously, but is get to the point where I realized that my systems are not set up to support the days where I don't have the energy. So a lot of the time, I would, you know, I brought my content, when I felt inspired to I definitely record podcast episodes when I am lit up and, and energetically aligned to recording because I think you can feel when you listen to someone, you know, you can feel a smile, right? I'm really big on that. And this is when I'm on fire. And I think the message is always gonna hit home when I'm actually doing it when I'm energetically aligned to doing something. But what happens is, when I'm energetically aligned to doing something, let's say like creating content, like posts for Instagram, or reels for Instagram or something, when I'm in that energetic alignment, all of a sudden I go, you know, because I work at home, all of a sudden, I go, Oh, hang on, I've just got to do this washing or I'm just going to call about this thing for the kids or I've just got to quickly go to the shops or, you know, there's always something especially when you work at home, it's always like, Oh, hang on, there's just more dishes. You know, I'm one of those people, I get a little bit anxious when there's when it's really messy in my house. So it's often pretty, it's pretty tidy, but it's something I need to let go of more definitely. So that's one way in which I sabotage my success is by focusing on those tasks around the house and being distracted. So distraction is one of my biggest momentum killers. Procrastination. Perfectionism. I'm sure you can relate as you're listening to this, you're like, oh shit, yeah, that's me. I procrastinate. Yep, I'm like a recovering perfectionist. I am definitely that too I've I've overcome a lot to get to the point where you know I had this need to make everything perfect and now I'm like, Ah, stuff it that'll do, but it's still sometimes creeps in I have to really block it out and go No. Good is good enough, right? Good is good enough. So
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other ways that you can sell sabotage just are not selling right? You're not selling In a sleazy way, but you're, you're when you're selling you are serving your clients, you are serving the people that need to hear from you. So just bloody do it, get up, share it, you know, share a testimonial, whether it's get on stories, whether it's, you know, create some templates and just pretty much hit replay, we can always get in that trap of not selling. And trust me, it does get easier, it definitely does get easier. But there you go, I was guilty of that last in the last week, you know, I lost this money methodology program, which I'm so bloody proud of. And it's, it's like, going to be that signature, that signature program of mine that will continually develop and evolve and get better and better. So, you know, right now, what it is, is amazing. And what I'm offering will probably never be offered again. So I That's why I just thought, you know what, I can't sit on this idea for any longer. I already know what is in this because I've been through my own money mindset journey. And I've come such a long way. And I've seen in the physical reality how my life has changed. I've I can feel it, how it's changed, and the momentum keeps stacking. There you go, I finally just wait, you know, I'm gonna put that program out there. And it's out there because I can't keep sitting on this, you know, how am I supposed to serve everybody with their money mindset, if I just hold this amazing container to myself, like if I just keep it all to myself, and I put out there. So there's that you've probably already got those downloads, you probably want to get those journal entries of these incredible ideas that will serve, but you're not putting them out there. You're not acting on them when they're coming up. Or you go are maybe that's just not right now, maybe it's just not the time, you know, I've got to focus on x y Zed first. Now there's another part that we could go down right is being such an ideas person that you have so many different ideas, and then all of a sudden, you have to act on every single one at the same time. And then you feel like maybe they missed the mark, because you were so spread thin and focused on a million different things. That's another way that we can sabotage ourselves. You say there's so many different patterns that show up. So start to have a look, you know, what are your sabotaging behaviors? What pops up? Do you procrastinate? Are you a recovering perfectionist as well? I mean, I feel you do have a lot of ideas and then never execute? Do you struggle to finish anything? That was another one for me. I will be honest, struggling to finish things. I'm not even joking. Right now I've got a couple of diploma subjects that I need to finish. So I can be done with my financial counseling diploma, and I'm procrastinating on them. Or I put everything else in front of them when I know I can just get them done. I mean, you know, I'll cut myself some slack in the last month. You know, I obviously my private coaching clients definitely come first or even before that is obviously my family. And you know, we'll COVID The other week. Now it's like, okay, well, now I just actually just need to get it done. And I need to just put it in. And even if it's half an hour, something as well, it's called habit stacking up. I've heard it referred as habit stacking, which is like you've got this heart, you've got this goal. And for me, it's to finish that diploma, right. And then what you do is you literally just book in 30 minutes a day can even be 20 minutes a day. But the point is, once you begin, it gets easier, right? So you go oh, I really don't want to sit there and do that. But you sit down and you start and then the momentum builds in, you're like, oh, look, I'll just do another five minutes, not five minutes, not five minutes. So 20 minutes, all of a sudden, that's an hour and you've actually progressed in an hour. And then you just try and do that, you know daily or a couple times a week or whatever. Another thing that I will share is one of my incredible pays in the mastermind, the moment mastermind that I'm in I just said that really odd. So one of my incredible peers that I'm in a mastermind with she shared this,
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this quiz that you can do which finds out your accountability type. So this was something that was amazing for me to work out, I will share that quiz so that you can go and do it in the show notes. But what it was is when you are procrastinating or you have these things that you need to be doing in order to succeed in your business or in your life, both both like that exactly the same. But there's different ways that you feel held accountable and that work for you. So for instance, my accountability type is an obliger. So an obliger is someone who needs an external person or an external accountability basically this external accountability. So what I did in this was okay, I need to finish this diploma and other girlfriends also studying so we said to each other Let's be each other's accountability, buddy. That's what I need. I need accountability, buddy. And then we set a date. And we're like, right, we're gonna have dinner and drinks to celebrate that we have finished, our courses finished. And we're gonna hold each other accountable up until that date and then celebrate so that you go. I knew my accountability type. I know I'm an obliger. I know I need an accountability, buddy. Boom, there she is. There's a date locked in now I've got a schedule it and just and just do it because I said that I would. So yeah, I'll link that quiz in the show notes. Super, super handy to find out what your accountability top is. So do that quiz. And I'd love to know, let me know, in the DMS or, you know, screenshot this and share it and let me know what is your accountability taught? And how do you be held accountable. So another thing that I do, when I'm, when I just feel a bit stuck in, there's just a lot going on. And, you know, I feel a bit of overwhelm. And I definitely felt this yesterday, just feel overwhelmed with all this stuff that it is that I have to do, what I like to do is just get out a bit of paper. And it's called my brain dump list, just a brain dump, get everything out of my head that I need to do. So another way that you could do this is just write headings of all the different areas in your life, right? Maybe it's your house, maybe it's your kids, maybe it's your business, maybe it's even like break it down even further. In your business. Maybe it's podcast, packages. Tax, you know what I mean? There's lots of different areas, just break it down under headings, and literally list out every single thing that is in your mind that you need to get done. And you might be shocked at how many things come up, that's okay, just keep writing whatever comes up, just keep writing it out. It's a big brain dump list for a reason. Now, once you have that brain dump list, you got to work through that list. And this is how I write because I'm used to love to do lists, I really feel I feel like accomplished or something if whenever I cross something off, but the thing is, I always have a million things on my to do list. So it then started to feel pressure. And then it would result in procrastination, overwhelm inaction. And it just didn't didn't help me. So if you suffer from that, and to do lists give you a bit of like, make you feel a bit anxious and overwhelmed as well, then this is a better way of doing it.
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It's just a brain dump list. So write everything out. Then what I want you to do is get a couple of highlighters. So three different highlighters. And I'll tell you what they're for one color is going to be for the boulders, the boulders are the tasks that are the big things, right, they're going to take a lot of energy, possibly a lot of time, they're just really big things that they also might have to be done first before you can get to the other things, right. So there's your boulders. So I want you to go through your list and highlight everything in the same color that is a boulder, it's a big task, it's a big thing. It's what needs to be done before anything else and highlight that in a color. Then the second color is for your rocks. So these are the things that definitely come after the boulders. They're not as big as the bonus, but they're just tasks that you still need to do in order to gain momentum, but they can come second, right. So prioritize the big boulders first. And then the second one are the rocks. Highlight all of them the same color right? Get your boulders get rocks. The third color. The third highlighter is going to be for the pebbles. The pebbles are just those niggly little tasks that you have to do. Or you could possibly even outsource or delegate, you could maybe even eliminate really, but they're all the little niggly things that are just there that you just have to do or someone has to do. But they're nowhere near as important as the boulders or the rocks. Okay, so I'll just recap that. What you want to do is if you have all these different things, right this all these sabotaging behaviors coming up, you're procrastinating, you're overwhelmed, you don't act you there is a million different things and you you notice, you know you're just You're stalling, right? You're stalling and these things that you need to do and move and act on are what are going to move the needle in your business and what are going to build that momentum for that million dollar life that you dream of. This is what you should do. Get a bit of paper out write the big brain dump list every single thing off the top of your head that you know that you need to do. Everything doesn't matter whether it's Just business related, or whether it's everything, I would highly encourage you to write absolutely everything. Because the way that you show up in your business is also impacted in how you are in your life. So if you're struggling in your life, and there's lots of areas, and there's lots of things that you need to do an act on, and they're just niggly little things like boulders, rocks or pebbles, that going to go transfer over into your business, right. And this is where you'll notice that's when the self sabotaging behavior pops up. Because there's things that you want to do in your business. And there's things that you need to do in your business. And you know, you need to do in order to move forward, and you genuinely, you love doing them. Some, I mean, not so much, don't get me wrong, there's always tasks in businesses that you don't want to do. And eventually you're probably outsources, outsource it. But as oftentimes, when you're starting out, you know, you don't have the funds to outsource everything, like you eventually will. So when you've got that those are like, your brain dump list is essentially an energy Lake list. Because this is where regardless of whether again, it's conscious or unconscious, you have all these things that you have to do, or you feel like you have to do, so it's a lot of pressure. And then it can show up as like, Oh, I just I don't have enough time for this, I, I don't want to fail, or like, you know, if I do all this, my business might move too fast. And I can't handle that, you know, there's so many different stories that will come up and there's so many different things will pop into your head thoughts, and then it will evoke feelings, and those feelings can be pretty shitty. And then it has a flow on effect, right like a domino effect. Let me just recap, because you know, I love a tangent. So get the bit of paper out everything, write everything down on a brain dump list, then get three highlighters. And you're going to highlight first off in one color, the boulders, the big tasks that must be done before anything else, the ones that potentially take the most time and energy. And then the second color are the rocks that won't come after the boulders, right, you can't do them first, then they come secondary, or maybe they're not as big of a priority as the boulders so they're, you know, your middle of the range. Then the third is the pebbles, the annoying little niggly tasks that really don't have to be done until last. Or they may even be the tasks that you can eliminate or delegate to somebody else. So once you've done that, then you just begin to chip away, just chip away,
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the boulders have obviously got to be done first, so then you can move on to the rocks. So maybe attack one. You know what I mean? You don't have to do 100 things a day, to be successful or to you know, manifest great success in your life because it only takes those tiny little one percenters to move. And don't get me wrong, that brain dump list will forever keep going. So start afresh. You know, once you are coming to an end, or you know, you've only got the pebbles left or whatever, get a brand new bit of paper, write it again, every single time that I begin to feel overwhelmed because feeling overwhelmed is just a feeling right? We can shift it, we can choose to be like, Nope, I'm not overwhelmed. I am in control, positive affirmations, you can of course, tell them to yourself, because when you identify with a feeling or an emotion, you know, when you say I am overwhelmed, you instantly start thinking well, that's just what I am. And that's who I identify with. But you can also shift that right? It's a reframe it, reframing. One of the techniques that you will do forever is right, I'm feeling overwhelmed. You're just feeling overwhelmed. Okay, you're not overwhelmed, you're feeling overwhelmed. And then you go, Okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed. So I'm just gonna get off my brain dump list, get everything down on a bit of paper. That is racking my brain because I also find it eight clouds you, when you have so much on your mind, it clouds you and you don't know where to start. And you just, you know, it has a flow on effect and it can go on for days or weeks or months if you let it so yeah. I would love to know if you're going to give this a go or you know, if you do it, share your takeaways like how did you feel afterwards, when you actually just got it down on a bit of paper and thought, holy crap, look at all the things that I actually have to do. No wonder I was feeling that way. Then reframe that. I am in control. I've got this. I was feeling overwhelmed, but not anymore. I've got a plan. I know what I need to focus on. It's also another way to help you prioritize what you should attack first, especially when you're starting out in business, right? Let's just say you're right at the very start. And you're like I want to start a business and you've got all these things in your mind of like what you need to do to actually create that business. Again, brain dump everything that you think you need to do, and then break it down boulders, stones and pebbles. It will make make it clearer. Also get some advice, speak to someone who's actually in business and maybe a similar business to you, or a similar model or something to you or that you aspire to be. Nobody had to give you tips on this so as to like what's actually really important and what's not, because I know that was a big learning curve for myself, you know, I learned by trial and error, which is great for all my clients, because I don't have to go through as much trial and error and spend so much money like I did, yeah, it can be very overwhelming at times, because you've never done it before. And it doesn't really matter how far into business you are, you can always still come up and stumble and they same beliefs, they same thoughts that come up, you know, I can't charge that much. Because there's always little things. There's always little stories that we tell ourselves, and they always come back, whether it's a belief or it's a fear, or it's just a thought, or it's an emotion that you're just struggling to get out. One other thing that I did actually a couple of things that I did. So there you go. That's my big tip, when you're feeling overwhelmed is brain dump. The next part is to journal on it. So what I did yesterday, when I felt well, I felt really overwhelmed. And then I realized I was sabotaging my own success, right, I was having self sabotaging behaviors again. So what I did was a journal on it, a gentleman on the fees and the thoughts and the things that are just popping up in my head. They obviously continually pop up but it's just a new level new devil, you keep moving through them. It doesn't matter how much momentum and stuff you've got in your life, but things will always pop up and they'll just pop up differently. And then I shifted my physical states. So I got my daughter, my other two are in daycare. So I got my baby. And we went out to a restaurant. I was like, right, we're gonna go out to a restaurant to tie my journal. I'm going to order an entrée and a mane and a lemon lime. And it is because that's what I love. I got spag ball if anyone wanted to know Spikeball, and forever on the seat, spaghetti bolognese, if you're not from Australia, it's my favourite dish, right? No judgement. So I just love it. I yeah, my favourite. So I got that sat there with her. And I just got it all out. I shifted my physical state because I needed to get out of my house. And I did something I love that ordered what I loved and I journaled on it. And then I also moved, I exercise like I got on the treadmill for half an hour. That was actually before I went to lunch, I got on the treadmill for half an hour, just walked, then I had a shower, and then we went to then we went to lunch. And I felt so much better, like so much better just from doing that. So yeah, there's a couple things that you can do when you notice those self sabotaging behaviors pop up.
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And then how to actually move through them. Because that's that's the big key here is like, I've noticed that self sabotaging behavior is not just from limiting beliefs or anything like that. It is also from literally just feeling overwhelmed and having a lot on your plate. And it's a place that I find myself in regularly. Unfortunately, I find myself not regularly. I know why, you know, there's lots of different things. But there's also lots of things that I could make easier for myself, right? I'm a serial procrastinator. I've, I like, I go through waves with that I'm really, really good for a wall and then I'll fall back into it. Because again, I may overwhelm myself and and I guess setting boundaries is something that I have struggled with for so long. How do I set up boundaries, and all of a sudden in my brain, that list is a monster. And then it affects my energy and it affects how I show up and continue the momentum in my business. So anyway, here I am doing the damn thing, recording this episode for you. And I hope that it helps you. And I would love to hear from you. Yes, again, I'll put the link to the accountability quiz in the show notes. And I'll also put the link to money methodology. If you want to check that out. It kicks off March 16. And I would absolutely love to invite you in. It is going to be just absolute magic. Absolute magic you will get. I don't want to overload you with information, but there is a lot in there. And yeah, five weeks can really change your life. And if you're really serious about upgrading your money mindset and calling more of it in then that one's for you. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it and if so, please subscribe to the podcast and join our mailing list at money mindset hub.com. Until next time, remember, everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance. So take that next step.