14. How your mother wound effects your success
In this episode we talk all things:
My gratitude for all of you
Life update, recent curve balls and feelings of overwhelm
How a motoher wound impacts yiur money and success unknowingly
What is a mother wound
How you can identify with having one and see it appear in your own life
How it may be holding you back from your greatness, making money and succeeding
How it creates a lack of worthiness
Some questions you can ask yourself to break it down and dive deeper
Wounds and trauma can cause long term effects on your conditioning, consciously and unconsciously
How we can recognise the potential mother wounds we may be inflicting onto our own children
The real reason why words trigger you and bring out an emotional response in you
Book Recommendation: 'Loving What Is' by Byron Katie
(Recommend the audio version to hear Byron herself and the people she interviews)BOOK NOW - "IGNITED" 1hr Deep Dive to Uncover and Release your First Money Block
Grab the freebie - Daily practices to ignite your inner wealthy woman
Connect with me here:
IG: @moneymindsethub
www.moneymindsethub.com
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Welcome to the money mindset hub podcast. I'm your host Carla Townsend, and money mindset and success coach on a mission to normalize feminine wealth through empowering the minds of fierce females in business, you're in the right place if you are a female who wants to become a vibrational match to attract more wealth, freedom and abundance, but you just keep getting stuck, or there's something amiss. There's something blocking you from attracting that desired level of success and reaching your highest potential. So I'll be talking all things money mindset, energetics of money manifestation law of attraction, CEO mindset, and much, much more. Because the world needs more kind hearted women like you with deep pockets. So let's get started.
Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the money mindset podcast. So first off, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your patience. I know in the last few weeks, the day that the podcast has been coming out has been a bit inconsistent. So I apologize just laughs definitely had its curveballs these last few weeks specifically. But yes, I'm getting back into a rhythm, it's all gonna happen and things will go with ease. That yeah, so I think I just wanted to give like a little bit of an update, I guess, of what's been happening here. And so we just had some, yeah, just some personal stuff going on, really. And our youngest daughter, she's seven months old tomorrow, she just got put into a double hip brace. So that's just been a bit of a learning curve. I mean, things already took long enough with them three kids, and the eldest being only four. So, you know, with that, and everything going on, yeah, it's been a lot. But um, yeah, could always be worse, she'll be fine. You know, it's going to be at least six months, she'll be in that brace. So things will take a while and bit of adjusting. And, you know, that's just life. I think. Motherhood always has its curveballs. And I think specifically like these last few weeks, and this one in particular, it's just been a really emotional and heavy week. I've also felt extremely overwhelmed, I guess. And I wanted to touch on that too, because being overwhelmed is something that we all experienced, it doesn't matter how much it doesn't matter how many systems you have in place, it doesn't matter how good you are at time management, we can all still feel overwhelmed at times, you know, this week was also wrapping up studies, like as my last deployment class, you know, I've only got the kids in daycare for two days, not the oldest to the babies with me 24/7, those two days that were have been pretty much spent running around for the last few weeks. And I've had very little space to I guess, create and plan. And so I felt like it's been a little bit ad hoc. So anyway, that's just a bit of a backstory here. And this episode is very much relevant for me, even in my life, this week, this come up for me, it also come up for my clients. And it seems to be a reoccurring theme. So I really wanted to touch on it. And I guess break down how a mother wound affects your money and
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your success, when you know, often you think that it probably wouldn't. Or it's not something that you think is even the problem or what might be holding you back and stopping you from reaching your potential and stopping you from having the level of success you want. And it doesn't matter at the same time. Like it doesn't matter how much of a beautiful connection you have with your mom, you know, a wound is something like wound and trauma are something that are very subjective. And it can be something you know, extremely minor that has had a long term effect on how you act and how you react and how you operate in certain situations. So it doesn't matter, I guess the extent of your wound and the extent of your trauma, it's all different every person. So you know, I just wanted to touch on that too. It doesn't mean you have a terrible mom or anything like that. Just maybe there were times where this popped up. And then it's had a long term effect on your conditioning even into your adult life. So considering this is such a common theme that's been coming up, I wanted to explain first off, so what is a mother wound. So a mother wound is normally something that's referred to as being between a mother and a daughter, but it can also be between a mother and a son. It's just when they haven't felt like their needs have been fully taken care of, you know, maybe they didn't feel as much love or care or security or empathy towards their needs. They weren't able to express their emotions, maybe their mom was a bit too busy doing her own things. And, you know, and as even down to working, right, like working and focusing on your own interests. You could have taken that as that I have time for me and it's it could be something so minor that can then have a reoccurring effect. You know, I know for myself something that pops up a lot because I'm a very ambitious sort of a person so I tend to fill up my plate, ridiculously full and then I do have that mom guilt, and I'm sure we can all relate that feeling of you're trying to do things for yourself, and you're trying to build your business. And the business is not just for you, fulfilling your purpose, but it's also about the opportunities and the life that it can create for your family, and the freedom and the flexibility it can create for your family and your children. I sometimes feel like I'm studying, or I'm trying to run my business, and I catch myself going, just just hold on down, like just one minute like, man, we just got to do this or, you know, and that can come up quite a lot, because I genuinely am time poor, you know, I never like to use time has an excuse, because I always think you'll find time to do the things that you need to do and want to do. But the reality is like, when you're a mom, you don't switch off, right, you wake up, you're on like you are on all day doesn't matter whether your kids are with you or not, you're still on. And then when you're filling out your plates so much. And we forget to let go and we forget to say outsource, when we probably should over outsource before we're ready, for instance, get help when we need it actually ask for help. And again, that can tie back to a mother wound asked me for help. There's those sorts of times like we could be unknowingly causing our children to have mother wounds, and it could literally just stem from something like that. And it can even come from, you know, obviously trauma and being a victim or just the inability for to feel that love and that nurturing side, you know, and this is something that I just wanted to explain, I guess. So long winded way, as you know, if you've listened my podcast enough, you know, I go on tangents, okay. But that's sort of what a mother wound is, like, think about those times, like when have you not felt that love and that nurturing and that support or not being able to have the open conversations or not being able to really express yourself in the way you want to express yourself, you know, or you didn't get the response that you wanted from your mom, same thing, it can unknowingly cause a bit of a wound in you like a bit of a trauma in you. So how it appears in your own life is those sorts of things like you didn't feel like your mom was there on an emotional level, you were unable to confide in your mom and tell her what you needed to tell her and, and you're unable to get that competence security. Or maybe you've just always tried to prove your point. Or maybe you've always tried to prove to your mom that you're successful. Or, you know, you might have felt nervous around your mom and talking about certain things. And there's lots of different ways that you can feel it show up. But the way that I noticed for myself and for my clients like how it could show up in your business and how it can show up in your your relationship with money is the your worthiness to have some to be able to create and receive and it can affect so many different things. So
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for instance, so ways that your mother wound actually shows up when it has anything to do with your money could be you know, you're not wanting to earn more than what your mom did, or your dad did. You know, that's a father wound but like, let's just say you struggled to earn more than your parents, or you think you might be ungrateful for wanting more. Or you think in your childhood, you know, I missed out on these certain things. So I don't want my children to miss out. I also want to Yeah, I guess tread lightly because it is something that is very close to home for a lot of people. A lot of the time with money it comes up in you're ungrateful for wanting more. You How dare you want more out of life? And, you know, how dare you say you missed out on things because we did the best we could and even comes up with maybe phrases that you're under your mom's saying, you know, that keeps you stuck. Now, money doesn't grow on trees. And a lot of the times it comes down to worthiness always comes down to worthiness. I think that is just a I think that's just a typical way that it shows up for most of us is we feel unworthy or ungrateful or we feel selfish for wanting certain things in life that maybe we weren't provided as a child, or maybe we don't think we'd get the approval for from our parents or our mom specifically for this episode. Let's just say we don't think that we'd get the support for what we're going for. They wouldn't understand or maybe they don't think that that's what we should be doing. You know, they've got a set way that we should be living our life and what we should be achieving. And it's doesn't align. That's how it can show up if you feel that little bit of unease. I know even for my mom and I, I guess we have similar personalities, but in a way we're also very different. And I know that we both trigger one another, you know, many times we've butted heads over our life. I mean, I'm having again this week. So you know God forbid she listens to this episode, but I won't go down that track because personal is personal. But yeah, like we definitely butt heads and there's there's definitely things that you know, I feel like she understands and that's this is something that I want to give you the tools to then be able to take that when you even notice yourself you're holding yourself back And it's something to do with your mother. It's something that maybe your mother didn't agree with your mother didn't support you with. You felt like you were just constantly looking for that approval and that acceptance and that support and that nurturing and that comfort and that security and you're looking for all these things you just didn't get it. I want to go into like the words of Byron Katie. Okay, here's some questions. If you've never read the book, loving what is by Byron, Katie, it's brilliant. I highly suggest reading it, I will link it in the show notes for you. So from the brilliant Byron Katie and inquiry, inquiry, inquiry, I don't know people say different. I don't, I don't know. It's just me being an oldie. But anyway, is it true that your mother needs to support you? Like, is it really, really true that she has to support you that she has to agree with everything you want to do that she has to accept everything you want to do? And is it true that your mother needs to agree with all your choices in life? Like, is that really true? Does anybody really need to agree with a lot choices in life? Does anybody really need to approve what we're doing in life? And is it true that your mother needs to understand why you started a business? Why you want more money, why you want more freedom, why you want whatever it is that you want? Is it really true that your mother has to understand that and agree and support and be there to confide in and all those things that you are wanting from your mom? And maybe you've wanted your whole life? Is it true that she needs to be all those things and do all those things? The answer is whatever comes up for you. But the common theme, he was asking yourself, Is it really true? Without a doubt? Is it true, is to say that no one needs to agree with you all the time, and no one needs to understand and no one needs to support you. It's, it's you need to support you. And it's all about yourself. So when it comes back to you. And another thing I want to go on to say is, when someone says something like in this instance, when your mother says something, and it's triggering, the reason that it's triggering is because there's a small part of you that believes it has the potential to be somewhat true. Because if someone says something to you, and there is not one ounce of a belief in you that it could even be true at all, you instantly brush it off, you know, it's easy to laugh about and move on from and be like, Oh, whatever
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the when it is triggering, and it triggers that those that emotional reaction, the anger, the sadness, that means that it's really not that easy to let go off because of a belief. And because of the subconscious conditioning, whether you're consciously remember it or not. It's something that's there. And that's what happens a lot in the instance, when we think about our relationships with mums, you know, they've probably said things at times. And I mean, this is the hard part because I'm a mum, and I'm sure I haven't got it. All right, and I'm sure I'll soften up at some point. But we can all try our best. But it is something to be aware of. So I really hope that helped. I really emphasize reading that book loving what is why Byron Katie, and noticing when those triggers come up notice when those those memories come up of mom and things that she said and how it impacts you now and then go through the motions of doing inquiry, as Byron Katie is famous for and asking yourself, Is it really true? Is it true that your mother needs to do X Y Zed or B X Y Zed or understand or agree x y Zed, whatever it is? Do that and it will change your life and you can relate it to anybody. It doesn't have to be your mother but it's a brilliant book. I recommend it and I really hope that that helps. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it and if so, please subscribe to the podcast and join our mailing list at money mindset hub.com. Until next time, remember everything you desire and deserve is just on the other side of your own resistance to take that next step